


Cryonic

by chibijazride



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Cryogenics, M/M, Science Fiction, character starts off dead
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-03
Updated: 2016-05-20
Packaged: 2017-12-28 07:11:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 22,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/989207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chibijazride/pseuds/chibijazride
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After suffering a fatal attack from an unknown illness, Lovino Vargas underwent cryopreservation, leaving behind his only family, his boyfriend, and a blooming company. Years later the effects are only just coming into play causing more problems than his preservation was supposed to solve.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

* * *

_I remember when we met. I remember everything between us. Every little thing, from his favorite color to the day of our first kiss. But most of all, I remember how frightened he looked when I was convulsing in his arms, fighting for air to enter my lungs. Fighting for a longer life time to spend with him. I hadn't wanted us to end this way, not when he was so happy, when I was so happy for the first time since…_

_I remember choking on air, coughing violently, and a warm hand trying to sooth me. A gentle, soft voice telling me everything would be fine. I think I knew it wasn't going to be 'okay' or 'fine'… I think I remember tears..._

_Remember. That's all I really do here. Remember and long for something. Then wait for something to happen, something to change, anything really._

_There's a few things I regret. Everyone does, don't they? I regret not telling Antonio it was terminal. It's a little late for that now..._

_I'm not dead. Far from it. But I'm not alive. I'm stuck somewhere in between and I don't know where. Sometimes, I feel like can hear his voice talking to me, but it's far away and a jumbled mess. Am I asleep? I want to wake up, if I am. This nothingness is just that, nothing. This nothingness where I feel like I'm floating around with no destination. It's not light and it's not dark. There's no sound, no warmth, no cold. There are no smells here, nothing to taste, nothing to touch. It's like I'm frozen in time and none of my senses work. At all. I don't even know how long it's been. An hour? A day? Weeks? …Years even?_

_It's... terrifying._

_I want to go back. I know my illness was terminal. If I really died, why haven't I moved on?_

_I want help, an escape route. I want to know where I am. I want to know if someone misses me. I want to know what happened. I want to know what time it is. I want to feel the sun on my face and the coolness of a raindrop on my skin. I want a redo of that seemingly perfect date with Antonio at the park._

_I want a lot of things, a lot of things I can't get._

 

_**~ooXoo~** _

A sigh escaped his lips, forehead pressed up against the cold container in front of him. He had his eyes closed, not wanting to see the calm and peaceful expression on the body inside; the beautiful, tan skin exposed to the cold air of the room. How could he look so...  _so_   _perfect_  like that?

It was his worst nightmare and his only hope. Every single part of him hated the cold that made his love look dead and loved the cold that kept his love away from the dead. It confused Antonio how he could love and hate the same thing for almost the same reason, but it was true.

"I know you can't hear me." Antonio chuckled sadly, "I wish you could though. I miss hearing you curse at me and seeing that blush on your cheeks. It's cold without your hand in mine, you know. Actually, it's always cold without you, caramelo." He looked down at the ground, smiling at nothing. "I wish you  _could_  be here. In the few years you've been gone everything's changed so much… it's almost like the world knew you went away and decided to renew itself… I'm rambling again, aren't I? You hated when I did that..." Tears started making a path down his face.

That was why he didn't go so often, he always ended up trying to talk to nothing and someone at the same time. He always ended up in tears, more so than usual.

"Y-you always managed to shut me up. I never complained, I loved it when you did. You always attacked me with a kiss. I loved-," it was always so hard to accept and he hated it, he didn't want to because Lovino wasn't gone, not yet, "loved it... loved you...  _love_  you." He sighed again wiping at his eyes.

He stood awkwardly leaning against the container trying to forget that day that ultimately stole Lovino's warmth exactly three years ago. The sound of a sliding door behind him made him turn and realize just how long he had stood there, was his time up already? He wanted to spend as much time as they'd let him in that frigid room where nothing ever changed.

"Antonio," a blonde haired women said quietly, she smiled gently at him and tapped at her wooden clipboard. "Visiting hours are-"

"I know." He smiled weakly. "Thank you, I just..." Antonio walked forward stopping right next to her. He cast a sad glance back at the container that held his love frozen in place, standing stiffly among the icy smoke that rose and curled around him caressing his body like silk would, "miss him."

The blonde, Bella, placed a hand on his shoulder trying to reassure him. "I know, we all do. The clinic thinks they're close to finding a cure for him." She smiled sadly, looking around the closed containers that held preserved bodies, each one waiting for their own cure to an illness. "I know what it's like..."

Antonio nodded, not reassured in the least, but understanding. "But close can still mean years, Bella... It's been three. H-he still looks twenty-three... I look closer to thirty now..." His words were muttered, sad. Bella laughed lightly at him. "Why are you...?"

"Antonio, you haven't aged much either. You still look the same as three years ago."

He frowned; he'd wanted to grow old with his love, his caramelo, his Lovi.

"Now, come on. We're closing the clinic for the night." He followed her out, glancing back just one more time. There wasn't any movement from the room, it was supposed to be that way anyways. He sighed looking over the face he'd memorized a million times over, the lips he'd kissed a thousand times, and the eyes he wished would open up to show him their beautiful color shining with emotions that would usually be hidden behind a perpetual scowl.

"Amor... I'm sorry you aren't here- where you belong."

 

**_~ooXoo~_ **

_When can I leave this… can I even call it a place? I don't want to be here. This place, area, state is a nightmare. Either I go back to Antonio, or I go wherever you go after death. And hopefully, that's heaven._

_Maybe I'll meet him again?_

_Maybe... I'll go back. And this time, I'll stay._

* * *


	2. 1.Sleeping Softly

* * *

_“Nonno, I can’t take over the compan-”_

_“Of course you can, you’re the last Vargas. I’m passing the business over to you when I’m gone.” I frowned at my grandfather across the desk. He just kept smiling and stood up to open the beige curtains off to one side._

_I’d always liked being in his office. It held old memories of when we still lived in Italy: from the small plants in the corner to the rich, wood furniture he said was my mother’s favorite. And with the curtains open—to let light trickle in—it gave me the false sense of still being a little kid and running around free of any care. It was simple, but there were so many details in the little things around his office. It felt more like a part of home than a business._

_“So what if I’m last the fucking Vargas? I’m not the best option to run this company!” I had tried to tell him this before, but he would never listen. He kept saying I would make the company better, help it grow into more than it already was. “I won’t be able to run it alone, dammit!”_

_“Lovino, listen to me this once.” At that point, he had walked towards me and sat down on the edge of the desk. Trying to forget that he had scolded me for doing the exact same thing when I was younger, I kept listening to him. “I don’t want this company falling into the wrong hands and I never said you had to do it alone. You have Antonio, don’t you? He wouldn’t let you try to fix everything by yourself. You two are the only ones I’ll trust with my business.”_

_“But Nonno-”_

_“Wait, I’m not finished. You_ will _succeed me in running this company. I’ve seen you work hard for what you want. You’ll do fine, okay? Plus, I have a few more years ahead of me. I’m just making sure you know.” He smiled again ruffling my hair, so much like his own in color, making me scowl. Sometimes, just watching him made me wonder what my parents had looked like, if I even looked like them. I resembled my grandfather in looks and almost every way, people had even mistaken me for his actual son before._

_“Then why the hell are you telling me now? You’re anything,_ but _sick or old.”_

_Nonno was always able to confuse me and this was one of those times, it was almost like a talent of his. He was healthy as hell, healthier than me even. There wasn’t any reason for telling me about something that might not even happen for maybe one more decade, two at the most. But then again, Nonno had the weirdest way with things. It was just the way he always was and had been._

_“You never know what might happen. Sometimes, your past catches up to you or something goes wrong.” I blinked, my mouth opening in confusion, what in the world could he have been talking about? I watched as he sighed and turned to look out the window. He suddenly seemed older than he actually was, hardened up by the past, and pained with some burden no one knew about. I had finally realized that maybe… his time was more limited than I’d thought._

_“I know that, why…”_

_“I know you do, but remember that, won’t you? Think of it as… a motto. The Vargas motto.” He pulled me forward into a hug. “I can never get over how much you’ve grown, you know.”_

_Surprised, I tried pulling away. Nonno was always one to show affection through physical contact, even though he hid his true emotions well. I should’ve been used to it, but even after growing up around it, I still wasn’t. “Hey, can you let me go now? Dammit, this is uncomfortable.”_

_He had laughed ruffling my hair one last time before gently shooing me off, telling me to finish today’s work, and go home. I ran into Antonio right afterwards, on my way back to my own office. I don’t remember what he said exactly, if it was important or not. Just that he chuckled, gave me a chaste kiss on the lips, and rushed off somewhere with a manila folder in hands that seemed like it was going to burst. I’m not sure; my mind was still on my grandfather’s eerily placed words._

_Looking back… that was a few weeks before I ended up where I am._

**_~ooXoo~_ **

The walk from the clinic to the apartment Antonio lived in wasn’t long. Actually, the apartment was near the center of town with everything within a close walking distance. The only time it took longer was when he took a detour to the park or his favorite bakery, but, like his visits to Lovino, that wasn’t often.

If someone asked him, Antonio wouldn’t lie that he missed Lovino’s warm side pressed up to his own on those walks. The office they worked in was in the same direction as the cryogenic clinic and walking down the sidewalk always made him remember Lovino’s laugh whenever he tripped and the times when he was asked to stop by the library since ‘we need a new book to read, dammit.’

Sighing, he glanced up at the apartment building not having realized he had already arrived. It wasn’t even entirely his, Lovino still partly owned it. He refused to think of anything in there as just _his_ , it was just how he thought things should be. Shaking the thoughts from his head, he went up the round glass elevator to the top floor. Out of pure habit he unlocked the door and swung it open, left over from Lovino wanting to get inside first and letting him through.

The apartment was anything but shabby; thanks to working for Romulus they had been able to afford a nice place only slightly short of being called a penthouse. A stone-faced electric fireplace stood to one side of the door and above the mantel a television could be hidden within the sliding wooden panels. The living room itself was divided from the kitchen by a breakfast nook which Antonio never remembered them using, preferring to eat at the circular wooden table that stood just a ways away from a sliding glass door. If anything, it looked extravagant even though the decorations were simple which both Lovino and him had agreed to.

Right as he walked over the threshold, tossing his jacket onto a coat rack, his phone went off displaying the Vargas company’s logo. His phone was constantly ringing with decisions to be made, more paperwork, and, sometimes, incompetence from the employees of the company. It was doing fine, not great, but well enough so that Antonio could leave the office early. Not that Antonio didn’t have daily paperwork and the such, it was still a lot of work to maintain and run the company without Lovino.

Groaning, Antonio answered his phone, mentally adding to turn down the volume on his ring tone. “Hello? Alfonso, is there something you need from me this moment?” He waited for the response from the Italian man on the other end of the line. Alfonso had been working as one of the personal secretaries that Romulus had had for a few years. Annoying as he was, he was trustworthy enough for Antonio to keep him as a close assistant. “No, don’t send those to the client… I have an in-person meeting with them to talk about- Alfonso, no. I can take care of it… They’ll ask why one of the Vargas’ isn’t in char-”

Antonio sighed running his hand through his hair and walking over the couch slamming the door behind him. That was why he didn’t like being alone for this. Every single time, someone would question why someone who wasn’t a Vargas was in charge of the company. “Alfonso, I can take care of it. Just finish filing today’s stuff and go home. I’ll figure this out tomorrow.” There wasn’t a single evening when Alfonso wouldn’t call him, even if it was to go out to a bar together. Sometimes this had gone far enough as to have several calls in the span of a couple hours.

Finally deciding to turn off his phone after hanging up, he sank down into the couch tossing it towards the loveseat off to one side. Sighing, he relaxed into the sofa wishing thoughtfully that nothing disturb him.

Just one evening without someone contacting him, just one, would be great. Before all of this, he never had to do work at home that wasn’t a simple report to type up. He missed being able to savor a quiet afternoon wrapped up with Lovino in front of the warm fireplace to read a book. Lovino would always stretch out closely to him and lay his head on Antonio’s chest with the book placed so that he could read over Lovino’s shoulder. A soft ‘now?’ was enough to chase away the silence for a few moments while Antonio replied with a ‘yes, amor’ and the turn of the page brushed against the blanket that cocooned them both. Those were always the best, the most comfortable nights. He missed everything, including the comfortable silence they fell into while one of them was cooking and the other typing away quietly at a report.

Nonetheless, the outside refused to be conforming to his wishes with its incessant presence in the form of knocking on the door. Antonio, wanting to not answer it, stood up to open it glancing through the peephole. All he could see was the top of a head covered in light brunette hair before he pulled the door open. “Hello?”

The boy standing in front of him turned around with a big smile on his face. He was dressed casually with dark denim jeans and a plain shirt polished off with a scarf. Studying Antonio, his eyes glimmered with emotion. “Lovino?”

That confused him. Lovino? He wasn’t…“Ah,” Antonio tried to begin, “no, I’m not Lovino. I’m… his boyfriend, Antonio.” His voice petered out into a whisper making the boy look at him questioningly.

“Oh, sorry. I was looking for Lovino. Wait, I should introduce myself; I’m Feliciano Vargas! Is Lovino here?” Feliciano, as he called himself, looked around him and into the living room. “Can I see him?”

Antonio frowned, the smile slipping off his face quickly. “H-he’s not. Why do you want to see him?” Everyone who knew Lovino, knew him. They wouldn’t have confused the two… Brushing it off, he motioned for Feliciano to come in, closing the door behind him when he had entered.

“Hm? Oh, I came to look for him from Italia.” He answered still smiling. Feliciano sat down on the loveseat, leaving his two suitcases near the door. “Mamma told me our grandfather had brought him here, to the U.S., and I wanted to meet him.”

Taking the opportunity presented, Antonio blurted out his thoughts. “How are you related to him?” He smiled sheepishly and added onto his question thinking it might be deemed as rude. “I mean, Lovino didn’t have any siblings. Ever since we’ve known each other, it was always him and Romulus. No one else.”

The Italian shook his head looking confused. “We’re brothers… I know that for sure. Here,” He fumbled around for a piece of paper in the pocket of his jeans, smiling when he handed it over, “that was sent to my family when I was still little.”

Antonio searched the picture smiling at it. He had seen pictures of a small Lovino before, and Romulus had left them to him, but he still loved seeing how cute he had been… That still didn’t make sense, he thought, Romulus had always said Lovino was his only grandson. And yet, there was Feliciano with a picture of Lovino and probably even letters from Romulus. “So, he did have siblings…”

“Yes, two of us. I don’t know why our grandfather brought him over though; I never had the chance to meet him.” He smiled excitedly taking the picture back. “If he’s not home, I can come back when he is.”

Shaking his head, Antonio sat down trying to figure out how he could tell the younger since he didn’t seem to know about Lovino‘s current condition. “You might have to wait a while.”

“Why?”

_He’s dead. He’s frozen and I’m waiting for him to be reanimated. He’s not alive._ There didn’t seem to be a good way to answer. Antonio glanced out at the sliding doors, it was getting dark. He wouldn’t have enough time to explain everything to Feliciano, if he really was Lovino’s brother, unless he stayed up longer than usual. “Lovino… isn’t really… Well, it’s a long story.”

Seeming to sense the awkward tone in his voice, Feliciano tried to be reassuring, “I have time, nothing’s wrong is it? Lovino isn’t in a hospital, is he?”

Antonio gulped, smiling at the Italian although it didn’t reach his eyes. It felt as wrong as saying Alfonso wasn’t annoying. “No, he’s not. It’s a little more complicated than that…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: ...the numbers are off, but this is chapter one. Thanks for reading!


	3. 2.Sleeping Softly

* * *

The soft _tap-tap-tap_ of a keyboard was enough to wake Antonio and make him wonder what could possibly have been causing the noise. His mornings were always quiet, silence assaulting his eardrums the moment he gained consciousness of his surroundings. Sound in the morning was something he hadn’t heard in years.

Yawning, he stretched to get rid of any trace of drowsiness that might have stayed behind before he stood up and padded softly to the living room. He caught sight of light brown hair as he moved towards the kitchen. Antonio had let Feliciano stay the night, refusing to have him pay for a hotel since he was Lovino’s self-proclaimed brother. It wasn’t the smartest idea, but they resembled each other to the point where they could have been easily mistaken for twins. “Morning, Feliciano. I hope you slept well in the guest room.”

“Buongiorno, and si, I did sleep well. You don’t mind that I made some coffee, do you?” Feliciano looked up from the white laptop on his lap to be able to watch Antonio mill around the kitchen.

“No worries, it’s fine.” Pouring himself a cup of coffee and leaning against the counter, Antonio thought back on Feliciano’s short introduction yesterday. “So, you really only came to meet Lovi?”

“Lovi?” Feliciano tilted his head, setting aside his laptop with his email showing on the screen. Antonio gave a quiet laugh, waving the question off.

“It’s an old nickname of Lovino’s, one of the few he let me call him.” Nodding in understanding, Feliciano curled himself up tighter on the couch. No doubt he was taking in every single thing that Antonio was saying about his brother.

“Can you tell me anything else? Or, should I just ask him myself?” A frown dawned its curve on Antonio’s face. He had decided not tell the younger Vargas, crushing whatever hope he had was something Antonio couldn’t do.

“I can tell you, but I have a meeting,” He glanced at the clock in the living room, eyes widening in panic, “in an hour. If you’d like, I could take you to the clinic he’s in. It’s on the way to the office I work in.” Tossing back his slightly lukewarm coffee, Antonio rushed towards his room. “It specializes in cryonics, Romulus was lucky to have one so in the city.”

“Cryonics? Is that what Lovino has? What does it affect?” He glanced back to see Feliciano standing up. Letting out an inaudible sigh, Antonio shook his head before answering.

“I’ll let the doctors at the clinic answer that, I can’t put it into words.” He amended before shutting the door to the room to change.

**_~ooXoo~_ **

Feliciano waved a quick farewell to Antonio and took a breath before going through the clinic’s revolving door. The clinic didn’t seem any different from the ones he’d seen back in Italy. If he hadn’t already known, he would’ve never guessed that they performed cryopreservation there, whatever that had meant.

Cautiously, he approached the front desk, all the while tossing glances all around the room. There were a few people sitting in cushioned seats and some doctors reviewing files as they bustled around going in one door and out the other. It looked so normal, he had started to believe he had entered the wrong place, no matter that Antonio himself had directed him there.

“Hello, can I help you with anything?” He looked towards the nurse—blonde haired and nice looking, he thought— that was leaning against the desk with a comforting smile across her features. It made Feliciano blink with brief confusion as he tried to collect his thoughts and remember why he was there.

“O-oh, ciao.” The sudden nervousness coursing through his blood made the question take a while to reach his brain. With some difficulty, he swallowed hoping that it might wet his suddenly dry throat. “Could I see Lovino V-Vargas?”

“You’re from the Vargas Company, am I correct?” She talked with a sweet tone of voice, almost as if she knew him well, which no one in the country would. The Italian shook his head confused. Vargas Company? It didn’t sound familiar… “Oh, then how do you know of Lov-, excuse me, Mr. Vargas?”

“He’s my brother.” A soft sigh escaped Feliciano, how many times would he have to explain this? Antonio hadn’t even known Lovino had more family. “Is there any way I can see him?”

The nurse pursed her lips muttering to herself. “He never had siblings around… never mentioned any either.”

“E-excuse me?”

Smiling, the nurse shook her head trying to be polite. “I’m sorry, but we can’t let you in unless you’ve been authorized… or-”

“What if I said Antonio sent me here?” Feliciano hastily cut in, golden brown eyes were wide with panic. They had let him; he wasn’t going to just give up all his searching to be turned away from seeing his brother. Antonio hadn’t been too clear about Lovino’s condition, he _had_ to see for his own self what Lovino had, or hear about it. Lovino had to know about him, right? “Please, I have to see him!”

“You said Antonio?” Feliciano nodded pleadingly as the nurse tapped her nails against the top of the desk. “And if I call to ask To- Mr. Fernandez, he’ll confirm this?” Another nod. She sighed carefully, picking up a pen and writing something down. “And you are…?”

“Feliciano Vargas.”

She nodded writing the name as well, “I’ll have to get Antonio to sign this later… Here, follow me and I’ll take you to the room. I have to stand outside the door to make sure I don’t get in trouble for this, I could lose my job.”

Filled with relief, Feliciano smiled nodding in acknowledgment. “Grazie! Thank you…”

“Arabella, just Bella is fine.” Bella walked out from behind the desk and motioned for Feliciano to follow her down the hallway to their left. Silently, he moved along behind her brimming with happiness.

Finally, the chance to meet his older brother, Lovino! There couldn’t be a better day, he only had one more sibling to find after reuniting with Lovino… Then they could all go back to Italy, live together, and Lovino could bring Antonio along! Their mother would love to meet him, a new addition to their family. If only his grandfather were still alive.

Having been so absorbed in his thoughts, Feliciano hadn’t noticed that Bella had stopped and promptly bumped into her while she was typing a code into a keypad. “Sorry, about that…”

“It’s fine.” Bella stepped back, letting the doors open with a mechanical swish of air. “Lovino’s container is this way.”

Feliciano nodded albeit confused at her words. “Did you say container? It’s not a room?”

“Did Antonio tell you Lovino had undergone cryopreservation?”

“Well, yes,” Feliciano’s palms had at one point started sweating, making him discreetly rub them together. This information wasn’t helping in drying them. “but he never explained what that meant. I thought it was a disease, but I heard ‘preservation’ in there…”

He focused on the sound of heels hitting the floor rhythmically as he waited for his answer. The sudden loss of the sound making his eyes snap to the back of Bella’s short hair. “Hm, I should tell you before you freak out when you see.” She turned around crossing her arms, the edges of her white coat crinkling around the movement.

“Freak out?” That wasn’t the most reassuring answer in the world.

“Cryopreservation is the preservation of an organism, or human in this case, through cold. This only happens when a person dies because a disease or heart failure, so they can be brought back when a cure is found… Lovino isn’t really alive, but he’s not exactly dead either.” The shocked silence she received from the Italian was emotionally crushing. Quietly exhaling, Bella placed a hand on his shoulder in what was supposed to be a comforting manner. “Do you still want to see him?”

Feliciano nodded slightly feeling scared, “yes.” Bella sent him another smile before continuing on keeping her hand on his shoulder as they walked forward again. He’d be seeing brother’s body look like a stiff, pale, flesh doll… the thought was frightening. It was almost as if this… clinic was trying to play God. It didn’t sit well with him.

This time he felt her stop and the muffled slap of her coat against his jeans when she turned. “Well, this next one is Lovino’s. I’ll be right outside if you need anything, okay?”

Without turning, Feliciano agreed in a low whisper. He could feel his heart racing against his ribs painfully; he watched Bella go back towards the door before curiosity got the best of him and forced him to move so he was face to face with Lovino’s container.

Catching sight of Lovino’s face, Feliciano let out a strangled gasp. Lovino looked even more like him than he‘d thought. They had the same features, although Lovino’s were slightly sharper, darker toned, hasher seeming. He didn’t look pale, like a family friend had been during his funeral, he looked to be sleeping. Lovino’s body was upright, Clear liquid flowed along an encased tube, white gas escaping from it every few inches making it’s curling way up and around exposed limbs. “Brother…?”

Finding Lovino didn’t make him as happy as he’d thought he would have been. This was like seeing his brother in a morgue, except with the hidden hope that he might ‘wake up’. What had even caused this?

**_~ooXoo~_ **

_“Oh, sorry. I hadn’t seen you reach for that.” I scowled at the guy next to me trying to discreetly take in his appearance: bright, forest green eyes; curly, dark chocolate locks strewn across his head; straight, white teeth molded into a shy smile that was set into rich, deeply tanned skin. He was good looking, yes, but not someone you’d find searching through a library’s shelves. Or reaching for the exact same book you were about to pick up._

_“Tch, of course you hadn’t. What, are you blind or something?” I crossed my arms waiting for an answer, though he was apparently too busy looking at something, who knew what._

_“So pretty…”_

_“What?” That confused me. What had he seen that was so pretty? Enough to lose concentration for a bit? I don’t think he ever told me._

_“Oh, nothing.” There was that sheepish smile again. “Sorry, I was distracted.” I blinked at him trying to figure out what was wrong with the idiot. Shaking my head, I reached for the book, the same one I had reached for before. “You like that series, too?”_

_“Why do you need to know? That was a simple accident, nothing else.” I glared at him before opening up the cover to read the short summary on the jacket._

_“I was just trying to start a conversation, I haven’t seen many people pick this series up.” Annoyed, I glanced back at him to see his face. The idiot was smiling at me as if I_ wasn’t _a stranger he had just bumped into._

_“Okay, yes, I like this series, it’s not that popular. I know that. Now leave me alone, will you?” Holding the book in one hand, I scanned the smooth spines of the books around it waiting for the guy to leave or move away._

_“Antonio.” I froze, once again turning my attention to him. Really, what the hell was wrong with him? Couldn’t he be like everyone else I’d bumped into and not even bother with stupid pleasantries? “My name, it’s Antonio.”_

_“Great, good to know. Not like I’m going to need it.” I rolled my eyes. I remember thinking that it was a waste to even be talking to him, there wasn’t any way this complete stranger could have become something so big in my life. “What the hell do you want, ‘_ Antonio’ _?”_

_That pulled a smile onto his face as he began to reply. “Your name, and maybe a book discussion on this book once you’re finished?” Antonio tapped the cover lightly making the book sway a bit in my hand._

_I raised an eyebrow questioningly at him deciding to ignore the first half, “You’ve read this before?”_

_“Yes, I have, a few times actually.” Another surprise, making me frown a bit as I went over my options._

_“I’ll see about that.” I quickly walked past him, hoping that an escape would get me away from the persistent idiot. It only succeeded in having him grab my wrist._

_“Wait, can I at least get your name?” I sighed in frustration shaking my wrist free._

_“Lovino. Now, I’m leaving, ‘rrivederci.” With that, I walked off, not bothering to see if he was following, which Antonio wasn’t, and I counted as a good thing._

_Later on, I had forgotten about the little meeting. It wasn’t important and I didn’t remember until I had run into Antonio yet again, although this time it was during my college orientation. I think it was probably the best that he was one of those ‘take the chance, what’s the risk?’ people. I never would’ve found that he was ‘mi media naranja’ as Antonio said once._

_My memory of meeting Antonio is one of the ones I always look back on, it’s not the one that is constantly popping up, but I’m fond of it. It’s better to remember the beginning instead of the end. At least that’s my opinion._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations: Buongiorno- Good morning (Italian); Ciao- Hello (Italian, also 'see you'); Grazie- thank you (Italian)  
>  'rrivederci- Good bye (Italian, 'arrivederci'); mi media naranja- my other half (Spanish, literally 'my orange half')
> 
> A/N: Thanks to anyone who's reading! Once again, more recent chapters are posted on my FF.net accound under the same name.


	4. 3.Sleeping Softly

* * *

Speed walking down the hallway, Antonio readjusted his tie, suitcase balanced under one arm as he nodded every other second at what his assistance, Alfonso, was trying to tell him while simultaneously handing him a cup of coffee. The normality of this occurrence was almost comedic in a sense; he remembered Romulus going through almost the exact, same thing less than a year and a half ago. Except that Romulus enjoyed it, Antonio just found it an annoyance.

“—and there are a few files you need to go over, they’re already in your office.” Another nod towards Alfonso with a sigh following it that tumbled from Antonio lips. “Most are about sell—”

“I’ll read them after this meeting.” Stopping near the last door in the hall, Antonio turned to tell the other an order, pausing briefly. “Alfonso,” At the sound of his name, the assistant nodded to show he had his attention, “if anyone comes and asks for me, tell them to wait in my office.”

“Of course,” was the curt reply before Antonio closed his hand around the knob to open the door and enter knowing that he was the last to reach the meeting.

Having closed the door behind him, the company head sighed out raking a hand through his hair before noticing the three figures already sitting around the table. Giving an awkward smile, he walked a few steps forward. “Ah, good morning… I guess I’m the last one needed to get started?” Around him, everyone stood up to shake hands and introduce themselves, thankfully, ignoring the Spaniard’s unprofessional entrance.

“Mr. Carriedo, am I correct that you vaguely know what this is about?” One of the business women from the trio moved to stand in front of him with a cold demeanor about her; long, platinum hair was held back by a sleek, black and navy blue headband with a bow that matched with her neatly pressed suit. “Or, need we go over all the documents that were sent to your office last week?”

“It’s actually Fernandez, not Carriedo, Ms. Braginski… and yes, I did read the documents,” Antonio said taking an open seat across from her. Quietly, he folded his hands over the table, “The reason concerning the meeting you made with me is still unclear, why exactly are you here? I’m sure everything within the contract could be dealt with electronically.”

"We sought out the past records among other companies about the Vargas' current financial status," before Antonio could reply that they could have easily asked for the information instead of snooping around, Ms. Braginski held up her hand, "but, there is a catch to our current business agreement that is being required by my brother."

“A catch? Why would he require this? Everything has already been set up between both companies.” Antonio tried to reason, “What’s the catch that required an in-person meeting instead of the usual messaging system?”

“Mr. Carriedo,” the business women began, being cut off by Antonio’s correction of his last name again. She quickly sent him a cold glare that made him stay quiet. “Mr. _Fernandez_ , my brother has run through all the statistics and it appears that the best result, for both parties, would be for you to sell the Vargas Company to us.”

“What?” A surprised expression crossed Antonio’s face. That simple request was impossible, the company had been Romulus Vargas’ prized and most valued possession He couldn’t sell the corporation, not only for that reason but he hadn’t been given the power to sign it away Not that he wanted to; he would never, no matter how much it went downhill. “That’s impossible! You can’t ask for that. Romulus, as everyone knows, died and Lovino is—I was left in charge on Romulus’s will, but that will not make me sell this company for anything. There is no way this contract can be signed if Mr. Braginski doesn’t acknowledge this. Actually, it will _not_ be signed if it means selling it. No exceptions!” Failing to keep his voice even, he bit at his lower lip, “is there no other way your brother is willing to settle this contract, without selling?”

“He is doing this for the betterment of both parties, he has, and so have I, seen how much this company is grossing compared to its net financial expenses. It would not be so wise of you to decline the offer.” Waving a hand to motion at the thin stack of documents, she sighed, “you have a few months to review the information, my brother is willing enough to wait. Though if you fail to do so our chain will annul the contract and find business partners elsewhere.”

“How is that reasonable?”

The group of three stood, Ms. Braginski at the tip of the trio. “My brother thinks of cryonicists as life extenders, not resurrectors of the deceased, therefore he thinks of Mr. Lovino Vargas as still alive, just in a state of unconsciousness.” She turned on her heels and started to exit the room, leaving Antonio with an unbelieving gleam in his eyes. “We will be awaiting that signature and Mr. Vargas’s return, Mr. Carriedo.”

“Wait, how did you…? Romulus made sure that Lovino stayed out of the news and such, how did you find out?” Antonio knew for sure that no one besides him and a few friends knew about Lovino’s condition, and the fact that only _Lovino_ could make the decision to sell.

“My brother has his ways of getting what he wants, and being a client of the same clinic has given him insight. Rules in the business world are changing yet again, and your business is still considered family owned. You will also receive some files from my brother with… more information. It always has been a matter of time until a bigger and more powerful corporation would seek to buy your business.”

Antonio watched the door close before slumping forward in defeat. The request was unreasonable; it was almost childish in nature if you thought far enough into it. There would be no way the clinic would be able to find Lovino’s cure before the Braginski chain annulled the contract. There wasn’t anything they could gain from the ‘family owned’ business Romulus had started, what could they have possibly found that was worthwhile?

**_~ooXoo~_ **

“What happened to you, Lovino? Why didn’t grandfather tell us about this?” Feliciano whispered to himself, eyes scanning the entire room to try to keep them off of the container. The other containers in the room were closed, the metal doors making them look more like doors that led to different rooms, which in a sense they were. He was grateful that he didn’t have to see anyone else’s body, although turning back to see Lovino’s sent a shiver up his spine as well. “Why did he bring you over here, anyways?”

Shaking his head, Feliciano walked away from Lovino’s place among the containers, ready to be taken back to the lobby by Bella. She could give him answers, couldn’t she? She would be able to tell him what had taken his brother’s life, had caused him to die… Feliciano stopped right outside the door noticing Bella sitting on a bench he hadn’t seen on his way in. “Bella? What exactly made Lovino die?”

Seeming startled from her thoughts, Feliciano offered the nurse a small smile in apology. Bella stood up pulling on the edge of her coat, “Lovino had been sick for a while and had a harsh attack from his disease. We still don’t have a name to it.” She pushed back a strand of hair, sighing quietly. “At this clinic, we’ve only had two people with that certain disease. That in itself is really rare…”

“But he can… come back, right?” A hopeful look crossed the Italian’s face, “Lovino will… Vivrà, Lovino?”

“Lovino will what?” Bella blinked at him, uncertainty clear in her eyes. Feliciano laughed, excusing himself.

“Sorry, I forgot what the word was in English! Let’s see… I think it’s ‘live’, will Lovino live again?”

Nodding at the correction, Bella smiled briefly. “We hope so, patients have been reanimated, but they haven’t lived long, or their medication and treatment failed.” She looked thoughtfully at the room that was now closed again. “Actually, the person who has lived the longest died from a relapse… Anyways, I should take you back to the front, you still aren’t authorized until after Antonio confirms it…”

Feliciano nodded, following her out. “Antonio comes to visit my brother, doesn’t he? Like, as if Lovino was in a regular clinic or hospital.”

“Kind of, yes. Lovino counts as a patient here, almost as if he was in a comatose state…” Bella left her sentence at that and turned on her heel, stopping right the main desk. “Tell Antonio to drop by, if you see him again today that is. He was here yesterday, but there’s some stuff I need to talk with him about that I forgot to mention. Do you think you can do that for me?”

“Si, I can. Antonio let me stay the night in his apartment and my stuff is still there. Thank you again.” Feliciano smiled slightly, a sad twang leaking through to the surface of his words. He quietly exchanged a few more words before waving at Bella and exiting onto the street to trace his way back to the apartment.

He paused on the edge of the sidewalk, looking up and down the street. Glancing around, he couldn’t tell if someone was losing themselves in their thoughts as he was. About what, it didn’t really matter. Maybe someone near him also had a lost sibling who they had never seen and then found out he was technically dead? He couldn’t get that one thought out; not even letting his mind roam to see if his current landscape sparked inspiration for a painting. If Antonio had gone with him, would it have been easier? He had been there when Lovino was dying, hadn’t he?

Feliciano wasn’t one for science; mathematical facts and structure were his downfall. He could easily grasp art concepts, think about things that just were with no explanation, creativity that wasn’t based on the factual and abstract thinking was a definite favorite and strength. Trying to wrap his mind around the science of the flow of life being interrupted and redirected was out of his reach, but he had seen it. It didn’t help that English wasn’t something he had grown up using a lot, it only made what Bella had explained all the more complicated. He wondered how people dared defy nature… it was just the opposite, unnatural, surreal.

Catching a sniff of coffee in the air, Feliciano snapped out of his daze and made his way down the street, every once in a while dodging around someone in his way, or a small throng of people moving past. Maybe he should stop thinking about it and just focus on getting back to Antonio’s apartment. Groaning weakly to himself, Feliciano wrapped his scarf tighter around his neck. Each new thing he learned about his brother only brought forth more questions… “Questo mi ha dato un mal di testa…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations: vivrà- will live (Italian); Questo mi ha dato un mal di testa- This gave me a headache (Italian)
> 
> A few notes on Cryogenics: I forgot this in the last chapter, but the actual containers used for keeping the bodies frozen are sealed in metal containers and then submerged in liquid nitrogen; the ones I'm using are completely fictitious, although if I read correctly, they are trying to create a container where patients are able to be kept using only nitrogen gas. Cryonicists also don't resurrect the dead, they merely prolong your chances to live, which is why I had (hopefully, you got this) Belarus say it.
> 
> A/N: Well, I just copied over the notes since I once again forgot to add them to the right chapter... Anyways, thanks for reading! There's a poll on my FF.net for those who would like to vote on my upcoming projects. (^^) As a reminder, FF.net does have the rest of the fic, as well as other fics that I might/might not be moving over.


	5. 4.Sleeping Softly

* * *

_“Worried, Lovino?”_

_I snorted at my grandfather. We were back in that cryogenic clinic for one visit of many others to see if anything could be done before I was… I don’t even know what to call it. Was it being frozen, cryopreserved, or vitrified? They all sound, and end, the same way: with me at negative one hundred ninety-six degrees Celsius. “Why would I be worried? I don’t see anything that should worry me.”_

_“For firsts, Antonio isn’t next to you or in the room over,” Nonno said calmly with an air of amusement about him, waving his hand in a slight gesture, “and you’ve always been jittery around doctor’s offices.”_

_“Nonno, I was little! I didn’t fucking know doctors were trying to help you by poking you with a sharp, pointed object!” To say that didn’t make me flush from embarrassment would be a lie. “And_ no _, it was_ not _an irrational fear, dammit!”_

_I heard the ‘nurse’ laugh and mumble about me and my never-changing personality before the person I called a family member decided to retaliate with his own oh-so-brilliant diction, “so, you aren’t denying that you’re worried with Antonio not here?”_

_“I never said that!”_

_“You haven’t said a lot of things, Lovino—wait, doesn’t Toni call you his caramel, or something?” I scowled at her, blushing darker and hoping it would disappear. Bella didn’t need to add to the embarrassment that was Nonno. “Why isn’t Antonio with you guys?” I shook my head quickly towards her as she spun around on her chair, flipping through a few notes on a clipboard._

_“Antonio doesn’t know about Lovino’s illness.” My grandfather stated matter-of-factly from next to me. I could’ve said that myself, hell, I could’ve said he was in a meeting and leave it at that. It wasn’t particularly a lie, just a vague truth at most. Antonio thought Nonno and I were in a different one anyways._

_“But aren’t-”_

_“I put him through enough shit while we still went to the university, I don’t need Antonio to worry his butt off thinking I might drop dead after everything he did.” I interrupted, my cheeks flushing, again, from having to say my reasoning out loud. It was bad enough that I remembered every hit, every insult, and every single time I rejected his advances; I didn’t need, or want, him to believe it was all for nothing. He already lost sleep when I was sick as well, arguing with me that he could do both of our jobs while I recovered. Which, of course, I never let him. “And stop asking! I always answer that way, anyways…”_

_Bella sighed out and made Nonno laugh. I knew they would be exasperated with me not saying anything, not that I cared. Even if my life was shortened because of this stupid disease that I was born with, it was still_ my _life to live. Meaning: it was my decision entirely if I kept my own boyfriend, best friend, other half, whatever I wanted to call him, in the dark about this one fact._

_“Stubborn as ever.” Nonno jested. Discreetly, I shot a glare his way. Becoming a cryogenics patient was his idea in the first place. At first, I’d asked why he hadn’t joined as a patient as well. His only response was that I was the one who had a whole life ahead of me, someone firmly standing next to me, and that I was still young while he had already lived his life to the fullest and opened up the flourishing Vargas stocks company that had always been his dream. It also made me wonder if I was surrounded by saps, Antonio being one of them with his whole ‘pet names of affection’ thing._

_“You said yourself that I took after you, dammit…”_

_“Tongue out.” Rolling my eyes at Bella, I obeyed. “I won’t ask again, Lovino, but,” she made sure to look at me straight in the eye, effectively making me shiver, “wouldn’t it be easier on you if you just told Antonio?”_

_“No,” my voice was muffled from a depressor against my tongue and a gloved hand holding my jaw in place, “I’m not telling Antonio. That’s my final decision.”_

_I watched Bella sigh and finish up the so-called ‘regular’ routine they had to follow: questions, tests, measurement taking, the same things as the other clinics, but with the knowledge that one day I would end up in those awful glass containers that were cool to the touch._

_Maybe, it wasn’t so much the knowledge that I could, just I_ would _end up in there… and I did, didn’t I? Just like every other person who signed up for the clinic’s treatment, I ended up behind the glass to wait out my next chance. If it ever came._

_Antonio didn’t found out, not until I… well, ended up here. That leaves me feeling guilty. Might things have been different if I had told him? Most probably not. I was already weak, as much I hate admitting so._

_I can only hope someone finds a treatment at that clinic… or die completely._

_**~ooXoo~**_

A few weeks had passed, and that was enough for Feliciano to find an apartment to rent, a small job, and be able to comb through every single picture and memento Antonio had of his _comatose_ brother. Because that’s what Lovino was in: a coma, nothing else! He wasn’t being stored away in a large container for his revival. He was waiting to wake up, regain consciousness. Or, at least, that’s what he _wished_ his brother was in. He still found the whole deal one confusing mishap, maybe if he deluded himself into thinking so would ease the hole of despair starting to grow in his soul…

Breathing out a sigh, Feliciano flipped through an album compiled of pictures that depicted a twenty year old Lovino and a twenty-one year old Antonio in most every snapshot; scenes from around the city, candid shots where his brother was smiling slightly or Antonio had a far-off look, and a few that were inside the offices of the Vargas Company.

How had Antonio managed to get pictures of Lovino smiling? Every photo that held the image of his brother had a scowl etched into his face, yet that one album showed a happy, lit up face… After all the questions he’d asked, Feliciano had managed to piece together what his brother’s personality was like; he knew from stories that Lovino almost never smiled. Cautiously, he glanced up at Antonio who was sitting at a desk in the middle of his office with his head in his hands, glasses glinting slightly as he read some document. “Hey, Antonio?”

The Spaniard, as Feliciano had learned he was, looked up and set down the pen he had subconsciously been chewing on, “Hm?”

There were so many things he could ask, and many he had, but he was curious about this _one_ detail. One he couldn’t help but make scenarios of and it wasn’t why his brother was smiling in the photograph. He couldn’t even think about what Antonio’s reaction could be, if the memories from the pictures gave him a sad expression, this would… “Where did my brother die?”

“He’s not—,” in one movement, Antonio had slammed down his pen and stood up. Realizing this, he ran a hand through his hair to calm down. Feliciano blinked, the reaction was close to what he’d thought it’d be. “Sorry, that caught me off guard.” He sighed and sat back down, shaking off that Feliciano was saying that he didn’t have to tell him, “it’s fine. We were… It was— Lovi had just gotten better from a fever… so I thought it’d be nice to go a small celebration date…”

A soft ‘ _oh_ ’ escaped Feliciano’s mouth, Antonio shot him what was supposed to be a small smile, but it looked like a pained grimace from the memory. “Bella said he had already been sick…”

“Lovi had wanted to get out of the building as well, I think he hated being stuck in the room… he almost ran out ahead if I hadn’t told him that I wanted to pack up a small lunch.” Antonio did smile that time, lost in his thoughts. Feliciano didn’t know if hearing about it or seeing Antonio’s expression hurt more.

“You don’t have to tell me anym—!”

Feliciano fell silent for a moment as the door to Antonio‘s office opened. It was probably just one of the secretaries or workers looking for an approval on something. “Antonio, there’s a call waiting for you.” Than man who walked in looked somewhat familiar to him… but he couldn’t put his finger on if he’d seen him before. It was probably just one of the people he’d seen around while looking at the stock boards on the main floor… Shaking his head, he turned his attention back to the album.

“Thanks, Alfonso. Is that all?” Antonio turned towards the phone, not even glancing up towards the assistant.

“Yes.”  Feeling an intent gaze on him, Feliciano looked up only to see the same person still standing in the doorway. Slowly, he tilted his head, confused.  For a moment they held the other’s stare, something sparked in the other’s eyes. Recognition, was that it?

“Alfonso,” they both looked up startled at Antonio, “if that’s everything you can leave now.”

“Yes, of course.” Throwing a glance at Feliciano, he left.

“Do you know Alfonso?” Blinking again, Feliciano looked at Antonio, shaking his head and looking back down at the album filled with the frozen moments of time. Closing the thick volume, he stood up and placed it where he had been sitting.

“No, he just looked like someone I knew back in Italy…” Feliciano stated still staring at the door. “Kind of like… an old friend…”

Antonio nodded slightly and said something about how that happened a lot in the city, especially a big one like this one. He tuned most of it out, thoughts still locked on trying to figure out where he had seen Alfonso before… Silently, he mumbled the name to himself. He never met anyone by that name, why would that stranger suddenly seem familiar? “—ays, are you still curious about Lovi’s…”

“N-no, no! That was enough, I don’t think I could live with myself knowing I made you remember that just so I could learn about my own brother.” Shyly, Feliciano smiled and made back to the album. “Plus, he looks happy enough in your pictures… if it weren’t for Lovino being in that clinic, you would have had a happy ending, wouldn‘t you?” He didn’t really know everything that had happened between them, but Feliciano could see through the photographs that they were happy, _content_ , before the untimely demise… although that made the situation sound grimmer than it was. Maybe he could take refuge in knowing Lovino had been happy at one point.

“Fin de telenovela no existe.” Feliciano stared at him, he hadn’t heard Antonio speak Spanish, nor did he know what that had meant. Antonio just shook his head at the other, a frown firmly planted on his face. “Not everything in life ends happily, although I hate admitting to it. Sometimes, it’s nice to wish I had… a ‘happy ever after’ ending with Lovino…” Feliciano hummed in acknowledgment watching Antonio move past him and take the album from his hands, the same far-off look he had in the pictures matching the one he had outside of them. Silently, Antonio opened the leather bound book up to the back and stared down at the picture. It was simple, taken from the edge of a pool and both Antonio and Lovino smiling wildly at each other, hair plastered down and arms linked tightly together, “pero no fue así.”

**_~ooXoo~_ **

_I shrieked. But then, who wouldn’t shriek when they got an unexpected hug from behind?_ Especially _when said person was wet... “Antonio! The fuck?” I turned to hit him, missing when he crouched and picked me up by the waist to fling me over his shoulder. “Oi! No, let me down!”_

_Antonio just laughed, ignoring my words, and continued to walk away from where I had been sitting, towards the wet edge of the pool. “Nope, we came here to_ relax, _Lovi. That means you’re going in with me.” I scowled at him, or tried to, as well as I could while I was over his shoulder._

_“Fuck you, I was relaxing!” Antonio snorted and stopped, glancing at me over his shoulder with an amused expression._

_“Okay, I’ll word that better: we’re here to have fun.” I gaped at him and started struggling against his hold._

_“Wait! Don’t—” My words were cut off the loud smacking sound we both made as we hit the chlorinated water. Breathing out sharply, I pushed his hands away and kicked back up to the surface where I sputtered and gasped for breath._

_I spun around to see where he would come up after wiping a hand across my eyes. Revenge on Antonio would be so sweet… Seeing his head break the surface, I waited for him to clear his face after and splashed him right when he started chuckling. I snorted._

_“Lovi, not fair!” He coughed out._

_I smirked at him, sticking my tongue out like a ten year old would, “You’re the one who decided to jump in the pool with me on your back!” Scoffing slightly, Antonio made to pounce on me, smile at its biggest and brightest._

_The force pushed me back, a challenge on his behalf. He wouldn’t be winning this. I smiled back, ready to fight back. I managed to keep him down in the water for a moment before he swam away, making me tumble forwards and regain myself just in time to bump into him from behind._

_At that point, I hadn’t even registered the flash of a camera and the sound of my grandfather laughing, focused on making sure Antonio was more soaked than he already was. And it wasn’t until Antonio turned me towards it and caught sight of him smiling in amusement at us that I flushed._

_Antonio should be glad that I didn’t destroy the camera in that moment._

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations: Fin de telenovela no existe- Soap Opera ending doesn't exist (Spanish);  
> pero no fue así- but it wasn't like that (Spanish)
> 
> Notes on Cryogenics: -196 degrees Celsius is the temperature at which they store bodies, of course, using liquid nitrogen. (^^) Also, once you become a patient, the only thing you can wait for is reanimation, something that still isn't possible at the time.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	6. 5.Sleeping Softly

* * *

Automated doors hissed closed behind her, the only sound in the long hallway the soft clacking of her heels against the tiled floor, each step echoing loudly off the walls and her already nervous mind. She clung tightly to her gray folder, one hand meticulously fixing her headband from the thought that a few documents could achieve a new level for the clinic, a breakthrough. It didn’t matter that she, though one of the few, was only a nurse that was still on the brink of finishing off her education. Such a field was still growing, and with it, so was her determination.

Unlike the other cases the clinic had dealt with, this one had a good, strong basis for research. She was not about to let it slip away. If the clinic didn’t allow this, she would still go ahead without their authorization. Authorization that they would be fools not to grant, especially for a case of such importance.

The thought of the no-go that could be stamped into the file’s history was enough to slow her down. It had taken enough years to find the right path, and nanotechnology techniques hadn’t advanced quickly enough. Patient HR-1861 had been one of the more lucky ones, a cure and reversible treatment appearing in less than twenty, or even thirty, years. It wasn’t complete and final by any means, but was getting there. A few months at the least. A year, no more.

A sigh broke through her thoughts as she reached the room in she would be presenting her findings and persuade them into giving her the authorization to start the final trials of treatment, fill out the needed paperwork for the reanimation and complete, legal authorization... Convincing them was barely the first step of many.

Faintly, the sound of muffled conversation could be heard through the translucent pane of glass that passed as a door. The low murmur wasn’t as comforting as it usually was, adding onto her already frazzled nerves. Bella straightened herself and rolled back her shoulders before mentally bracing herself and going in. ‘ _You don’t get anywhere in life without taking a risk’_ , she’d heard that somewhere before. Molding on a smile, she sent a silent thanks to whoever it was and took her place in front of the small circle of doctors that made the most decisions.

“Good afternoon everyone,” she tittered anxiously, “anyone need another serving of coffee?” Bella’s question was met with muted laughter from a few and disdain from the lead doctor.

“Ms. Janssen, if those are all of your commencing pleasantries, please proceed with your presentation.”

Bella nodded quietly and turned to the projector to pull up the slideshow she had prepared. “Well, as known by everyone, we have had patient H-R-one-eight-six-one under cryonic care for just about three years, give or take. Though it has been a short period of time, I am ready to argue that this case has sufficient information for us to continue with the second half of treatment.”

The room remained respectfully silent as she went on her details and speculations, at certain points passing around papers or moving on to another slide. A few of them were skeptical at the information; she didn’t blame them on that front. Everything was personal research she had done with snippets she had… _sourced_ from the doctors that had worked on a previous case. She slowed to a pause as one of the doctors, a scientist actually, cleared his throat loudly, interrupting her notes on how a past experiment had been successful, “Yes?”

The man leaned forward on the table and adjusted his glasses as he spoke, “Interest in eighteen-six-one’s case isn’t from having personally known him and befriended his family, is it? You realize that this is unethical within our profession?”

She pursed her lips, a slight glare directed in the man’s direction. Her original interest in the case hadn’t even been because of that, anyone could have seen that. “No, it wasn’t. My brother had it as well, if you don’t remember a Daan _Janssen_ that was in this same, exact, center.” It was impossible that one of the doctors that had been on the team to reanimate her brother wouldn’t remember. She turned to a doctor near her, the only who had actually been on that team. “First to be reanimated here, died again a few later months later of a relapse. Treatment had failed like most other patients, and Daan had decided he didn’t want to be preserved a second time. _That’s_ the reason I have interest in this. Thanks to my brother, someone else’s life could benefit from our advances and survive their medical illness.”

None of them objected further, settling to hear out the rest of her presentation. So far, it was going well, if only from her own perspective. It almost felt like an out of body experience, what with her speaking calmly and looking composed, but shaking on the inside with her heartbeat thrumming along in her ears like music would through headphones.

There was only one big detail that could derail her—and so far, it seemed like it was the last detail, one that was coming up very quickly. “The only thing that will need working on is the actual ‘cure’ that will be administered…”

A few voices rose up quickly attacking the proposal, why go through with it if they had the possibility of ending up in cryopreservation again? It seemed like it would only create more expenses for the clinic.

“This is truly the fabrication of something crazy,” one of them said snidely causing everyone to laugh, “That patient would have no chance without that.”

“I say it’d be in everyone’s best interest. Not only have they provided us with _donations_ , but something could be done and give this clinic a better status!” Bella tried arguing, pulling up the one thing that could motivate them, even if it _was_ a cheap shot.

“What are you insinuating?” The head called out all of a sudden. Bella smiled, opened up her folder once again, and pulled out a simple, thin, green manila folder. Flipping through to make sure everything was there, she tossed it towards the man making it slide against the table and sound like it was being ripped up. About a year’s worth of medical information slid out once it came to a stop, revealing charts, notes, and a condensed report with the donation amounts attached. The man glanced at the information without touching it, eyes skimming over the name and picture before snapping back to make contact with Bella’s. She smirked mischievously at him and motioned for him to continue with a clack of her tongue, “Without the actual cure, and no matter the attention this may bring, you can’t possibly think that we will allow—”

“The reanimation of Lovino Vargas? Yes, I am  _insinuating_ such a thing.”

**_~ooXoo~_ **

_“Something wrong?”_

_I glanced up at Antonio with a shake of my head, “No, nothing.” He looked at me skeptically, pulling me right up next to him, before looking around the main floor of the business. He peeked at me, making me roll my eyes and have to pull him with me towards the exit. “Bastard, just take my word for it!”_

_Antonio was caught by surprise and stumbled a bit, managing to right himself after a bit and pull me back his side, “then why do you keep looking around, cara—?”_

_"Don’t call me that here!” I could already feel the blush rising across my nose and cheeks. I ducked out from his grasp and turned to reprimand him in a usual way, but my eyes landed on someone behind us, watching us very closely._

_“Huh?” Antonio noticed and turned slightly around, eyes landing a figure that quickly averted their gaze to a packet of files on a desk. I caught sight of Antonio’s features, confusion probably showing on my face when he chuckled and took my hand. “Maybe he’s jealous that you’re the one walking with me?”_

_I scowled. Fucking cocky bastard, “I’m not joking, Antonio.” Lowering my voice slightly, I tried to explain myself, “Ever since that secretary was hired he’s been staring at grandfather and me a lot.”_

_“Maybe he likes you,” was the response that was accompanied by a shrug. I wondered how he could be so relaxed saying something like that._

_I rolled my eyes again as Antonio pulled me back to his side and casually placed his hand, along with mine, in the pocket of my coat. “When every time I enter and leave the building, you’re next to me?” If it wasn’t for knowing that (and to a point, witnessing) Antonio had passed university level math classes, I would have wondered if he even had a brain. Not taking in count the great grades he always had in the other classes, and the fact that he was a bookworm… Well,_ is _a bookworm, or so I think he still is._

_“That doesn’t stop most people though,” he tried to laugh out as we exited out the glass doors._

_Snorting, I mumbled, “then you’re not doing your job correctly...” Antonio gave me a confused look that made me laugh. I take back him being smart, he still acted dumb at times._

_“Wha?”_

_“Idiot.” I stopped for a second,_ just _to explain so his brain could wrap around it, “ ‘Doesn’t stop most people’? Aren’t you supposed to make sure they don’t try to, I don’t know, fucking steal me?”_

_Antonio stayed still for a bit before he burst out laughing and kissed me quickly. If he was trying to make a scene in the middle of the sidewalk with me sputtering at his suddenness, he had succeeded completely. “I don’t have to worry about that though, you’ll always be mine, no matter what.”_

_“How are you so sure about that?”_

_The sly smile that formed on Antonio’s face made me shiver, unsure of how he would respond to that one question… though if I had an idea, it would have to do with a certain event that had led us to where we were at that point. “Fall quarter of last year, on the way to the math sciences building; in that small park area, you had that hazelnut-brown sweater on and said something—”_

_“Okay, okay! Sheesh! You don’t have to go into all the details, dammit! I know what I said!” I almost yelled, a flash of heat crossing my cheeks at the memory._ Almost _yelled, if it hadn’t been for the people around us, I would have yelled that out. Antonio was always dragging up memories of things we had done, or that had happened… and whenever he declared that I’d be ‘his forever’,  I couldn’t help but think, at that moment, that his forever would end and it would be because of me._

_It’s almost like that one show or series you love, you can’t wait to get to the ending: find out every moment that happens and every reaction, every up and down, every smile, and tear, and lasting memory. Then all of a sudden, the show gets cancelled. There are no more episodes, a storyline and plot that will never have to reach its ultimate happy ending, no more journey to get there, and all of that is accompanied by the filling dread that there’s a void in your everyday life. The characters you loved so much are frozen in their spots, the last second of the last episode… the joy that watching the show gave you is gone, leaving you with only reruns and ideas of what_ might _have happened should the show not have been cancelled. Then there’s the temptation that, maybe, you could figure out a way to have the show continue, though you know it won’t. That also meant the loss of your favorite character, the villain, a situation that won’t be resolved or a mystery that will stay just that._

_And getting a show to be continued is a lost cause._

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to those still reading!


	7. 6. Feeble Fire

_A few months later…_

The only thing that kept Antonio against selling the company was the fact that it wasn’t in foreclosure, nor any situation of the type. Well, that and the fact that he couldn’t _legally_ sell it himself. Paperwork kept appearing on his desk, overflowing into his living space and dreams. Everyone had advised him to just hand it over to a bigger corporation, they’d be able to ‘save and place the Vargas Company at its pinnacle’! While the idea sounded swell, Antonio knew if Lovino were to ever reawaken and find that he sold it, he would be dead.

A sigh escaped him as he vetoed yet another offer and piled it on top of the rest that were slowly burying the original one from the Braginski’s at the bottom.

How had they lost so much money? Antonio swore it was almost like an invisible being had waltzed right in and siphoned it off without leaving so much as a trace. He couldn’t remember when someone finally noticed and he figured out that many of the reports he had been receiving were completely falsified: account numbers, stock amounts, banker aliases... the list went on. Whoever was doing such act was a great actor and con man, no doubt.

Tired, Antonio set down his pen and stood to stretch. Maybe he should hire another secretary, he couldn’t keep doing all the work himself and all Alfonso really did was regular secretary work, no other responsibilities attached. It wouldn’t even be a good idea to hire more workers, as much as he wanted to. He could mentally recreate Lovino’s reaction to the foolish idea. _‘What the hell are you thinking? That would create more debt, and if people find out about that, they won’t want stock holdings with us, idiot.’_

A weary smile flickered across his lips. No matter his tritely attempts to make his mind focus on different things, it just wouldn’t budge from its constant string of memories and worries that meshed together. If he remembered correctly, the only times he wasn’t thinking of one or the other was whenever Lovino’s (still getting accustomed to navigating the city) brother chattered on about one thing or another. So long as the topic wasn’t Lovino or pertaining to him in some abstract way.

He really had to get out of that habit. Even now, he had to focus on something else to keep his mind off of memories that contained Lovino. He had to focus on getting the company back to its stature, though it was proving to be a great feat.

Maybe he’d go visit Lovino agai—no, he had to stay _focused_ , focused on the matter at hand, those being the statistics he had asked for from Alfonso. Where was that secretary anyways? Antonio had called him almost half an hour ago and he had yet to show up. It couldn’t have taken that long to print out and rush them back to him, he’d done that himself when Lovino was still alive…

Yes, he definitely needed a way to focus.

Antonio reached for the phone, making a quick mental note to run the errand himself next time no matter how busy he may be, maybe then he’d be able to find out what was happening to the siphoned money… though it wouldn’t make much a difference unless someone was manually changing things in the report to mask up any missing money. He made to dial one of the numbers on speed dial, only able to reach Alfonso’s voicemail after letting it ring for a while. Did Alfonso not carry his cellphone around? He was supposed to able to be reached at any time, as need be. Antonio would have to remember to reprimand the other on being available.

Pressing the call button once again, he didn’t look up from the phone as the door opened, letting a frown settle onto his face. “If you aren’t a client with a private meeting could you find out where Alfonso went to?”

“My apologies, Mr. Fernandez, the printer I sent the reports to was jammed up.” The door clicked shut, making Antonio snap his head up to meet Alfonso’s nervous gaze.

That seemed… suspicious, to say the least. Placing the phone back in its cradle, he reached to grab the documents and stood up at the same time. “So that’s why it took so long. Was this fixed as well?”

“Yes, I manually opened up the printer and fixed it up along with inserting a new ink cartridge.”

“Great. We need to keep that printer open, it’s the busiest one.” He smiled reassuringly at the secretary, though it felt like cheap plastic on his face, “Oh, and I’ll be taking care of running to get the report next time. It’s not much more time being consumed on my part, so you can work on other things.”

Alfonso was quick to pale, a startled frown flashing across his features. “Wh-what? But it’s my job to run these quick errands. That’s why Mr. Vargas had hired me in the first place,” he took a breath to calm down, managing to do so slightly, “Antonio, are you sure you don’t want me to continue retrieving the reports?”

A raised eyebrow accompanied Antonio’s answer to the Italian, “It shouldn’t matter much… you have plenty of other things to accomplish, don’t you?”

“Well, yes, but-”

“Then that’s settled,” Antonio resolutely stated, “I’ll be picking up the reports and ordering their prints as I need them.” He sat back down, ignoring how Alfonso pursed his lips into a tight, thin white line.

“Got it… anything else?”

“No, that’s it,” Antonio flashed him a smile before moving his attention back to the report. As he scanned through the list of numbers and names, he heard the door to his office close shut. That man was a weird one, still trying to get into everything that he, Antonio, was trying to do or get done. He’d have to remember to keep a closer eye on things, not only the reports (which, if he was correct, were being altered), but the workers as well.

Now, why would Alfonso be acting so weird about not having to pick up a print anymore?

**_~ooXoo~_ **

A muffled, excited squeak of joy escaped Bella’s lips as she read over the latest written up report and test samples. Grinning, she looked up at the doctor who had agreed to co-direct her project with her. “We have it… We found it, Sofia!”

Sofia directed a nervous smile at the Belgian, glancing out the frosted glass door of her own office quickly before talking, “I know everything works out… but can we actually go through with this?” She shifted in her chair and lent back eyeing the file. “Neither of us can take those decisions, you know what he said during that presentation-”

“Sofia, I know! But you know this is-”

“-on a personal level. I know,” she supplied quietly, taking back the files from Bella’s hands. “If we’re caught with this, you know what could happen.”

Besides losing her job in a profession that she loved, Bella knew that this was a major risk. Not only would it be a legal one, but without most of the usual doctors taking part in the reanimation, it would lower the chance of survival… and then there was the fact that Lovino’s preservation hadn’t been an ideal situation one… There still wasn’t any way Sofia could change her mind so quickly. Risk or not, leaving things as they were was not an option for her. And even then, those risks were nothing compared to what Antonio could substantially regain from having Lovino back… maybe he wouldn’t spend so much time in the past (and in hindsight, that _was_ actually getting better).

“It’s worth it. Wouldn’t you do the same in my position?”

“Bella-” Sofia cut herself off, watching as the Belgian fiddled around with the bronze name plaque, engraved with her name, trying to act casual, “Bella, I’m not sure what I would have done if my brother had died… twice… and had the chance to right someone else’s life… what you’re doing is very selfless since you could-”

“Lose a chance at my dream job?” Bella smiled slightly at the Ukrainian. Sure, she was (to some degree) trying to achieve recognition for her brother’s sacrifice, but it was also about helping out two friends she had met during university who, in her point of view, were completely compatible and right for each other. Though maybe the second was a bonus thanks to the coincidental ailment Lovino and her brother had shared… “I know. Remember, I already had my decision made when I started working on this.”

“I’m just making sure… I mean, this is a really big responsibility.” Bella understood it was the older girl’s apprehension appearing, Sofia had always been a worrywart. She could clearly remember on her first day at the clinic, the Ukrainian flittering around her constantly wondering if she needed help or anything else to make her adjustment day easier.

“I understand. Don’t worry, everything will turn out fine.” At least, she _hoped_ it would. “I have the night shift next week anyways, it’ll be easy to sneak you and the others back in to perform the reanimation… and apply the cure as soon as he’s been stabilized and back at his normal temperature. Then maybe, his grandfather’s company can be reinstated back to its level from before.”

Sofia blinked in surprise, “Weren’t you working to achieve Lovino’s reanimation because of… well, Antonio, not the stocks?”

Bella gave another nervous smile, “okay, maybe there was more to my reasons… but no one else needs to know those except for me!”

The two women shared a short laugh, though on Sofia’s side it was more of a guarded giggle. “I’d rather not know how mixed up into the patient’s life you are, Bella.” That was most likely because she was a close friend of Lovino and Antonio’s… and they had both confessed that they liked the other to her before they had even confessed to each other. Rather, it had been that Antonio had confessed and Lovino had… denied everything.

“It might be easiest not to elaborate actually,” she laughed. Sofia sighed out loudly, standing up and helping Bella collect the documentation and place it back in its green manila folder. “Thanks. Now, do you think next… oh, let’s say… Tuesday. Do you think next Tuesday would be an okay day to follow through with the devitrification? I know the council members won’t be there on Tuesday or Thursday.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“Sophie, come on! I’m sure about everything that has to do with this project. I won’t just dive headfirst into this without meticulous planning, you know!”

“Well, yes, that’s true… but still…”

Bella gingerly placed a hand on Sofia’s forearm, trying to at least be reassuring. “No one will catch on and if we have to, I’ll change the password on Lovino’s container and his informational files. I should be the only the one who has complete access to all of his information and digital data…” She sighed quietly and turned taking the file from the Ukrainian’s hands before moving towards the door to drop them back in its place among the rest of them. Well, almost everything, she thought. It had been the first patient case she had been assigned, part of the clinic’s regimen for treatment and care.

“I’ll take your word for it then, Bella…” Said Belgian nodded, trying—again— to be reassuring in what she was doing. Half of the time she was only hoping she could convince herself into thinking that nothing could go wrong with this procedure. But if she was confident about the whole thing, everyone else would assimilate her thoughts, would they not?

“Then, I’ll see you tomorrow! By later this week, I should have sent a little reminder note concerning the day… so, keep an eye out for that.” With a small wave and a quick, exchanged goodbye between them, Bella set off, grateful that the final pieces were finally falling into place.

**_[~]_ **

Sofia sighed loudly once she was alone in her office, slumping back heavily into her plush office chair. Sometimes she was glad for her nervous tendencies, people were so used to seeing her nervous and worrying about one thing or another, they could never really tell exactly _what_ was making her nervous. Like at that point. “I hate having to do this… my brother won’t take kindly to this news. Why couldn’t I just work in this field without having to inform him of what happens? If… if Bella finds out, she’ll surely want no more to do with me…” And it was true. Lovino’s whole case was Bella’s favored pet project, the most important one that she could have been assigned. She couldn’t just take that case’s information, transfer it to her brother, and let him use it for whatever need he had for it.

Which… she actually had no idea about. He was always so secretive his business, not letting her or their younger sister into whatever his dealings were. The only things she had been told were to keep watch on the progression of Lovino’s treatment and that the Vargas’ business was slowly, but surely, going downhill. Her sister knew a bit more of course; she was the one dealing directly with the company’s current debt amount and the paperwork to buy it. Even so, she wished to know what was going on. Maybe she could warn Bella of anything that could happen.

She shook her head briefly, reaching forward to pick up the corded phone sitting on her desk. Surely this new information would be of some—hopefully good—use. Sofia rapidly dialed the number and waited for it to ring three times before it picked up. Gathering up some semblance of confidence in her information, she spoke quietly and slowly. “Brother? It’s Sophie.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry that this took so long despite the fact that this is a transfer from my other account. I'll slowly keep adding chapters until I catch up to where I'm at on my FF.net account. If you'd like to read ahead, please do go there!  
> Thank you for reading!  
> Notes on Cryonics:  
> Vitrification- the freezing of tissues and organisms to the point where no ice is formed, meaning that when it's... 'defrosted' (for lack of a better word) it doesn't have any water expansion that could destroy the cells/tissues.  
> Devitrification- basically it's the 'defrosting' part of the above definition, does that make sense? It's the reverse process, so in the context of cryonics, it would be bringing the organism up to it's original temperature.


	8. 7.Feeble Fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, I realize I'm horrid with updating fanfics. And then I notice that I'm even worse with updating a few chapters of stuff I already have written! Anyways, please excuse the long, unplanned hiatus!

_Technology._

_It’s a great thing, isn't it? In one second, we could be talking to someone miles away,_ continents _away, and hear them clearly…_ see _them clearly. We can carry our emails and documents, presentations, and pictures with us on a tiny screen everywhere we go. Colds and other ailments can be easily treated, routine checkups preformed with advanced machines and computers that didn’t exist mere decades ago._

_…those who died of disease… frozen and then ready to be reinstituted into their lives in the future…_

_I remember reading everything about all the advancements when I researched it. Ethics, scientific advantages, pros, cons, and all the stuff in between. It was almost as controversial as homosexuals were—or rather, still are—at one point, nicknamed the new wrongdoing and disease of the human race. One particular article said something about trying to play god…_

_I was so curious it drove me to ask once Antonio on his thoughts, almost giving away that I was already a patient, but was able to cover it up with suggesting it as an option for Nonno. He bought it, of course he would. After all I was ‘_ perfectly _healthy’._

_“It’s making sure their families get to see them again, right? If something happened, wouldn’t you want to be able to see me again? Even if it was a few years later?” he had said, nonchalantly plopping down next to me on the couch. Antonio didn’t even know how close he was to hitting the nail on the head._

_“The church is against it though,” I tentatively added, trying to pry out more of his thoughts. It was weird how much just mentioning it, even though it was clandestine, was reassuring me that he wouldn’t freak out._

_"Caramelo, the church was against ‘us’ years ago if you don’t remember,” calmly, Antonio leaned over to kiss me softly before I could argue that though the church and government had ‘legalized’ it, it was still looked down upon. Damn him and his ability to turn most every moment into a sappy, lovey-dovey one. “I think they can make exceptions.”_

_“So you agree with this… freezing people stuff?” It was a valid question; I had to know if Antonio would see me as a freak after being frozen like a piece of sirloin steak. “You don’t think it’s weird?”_

_He just ended up chuckling, like he always did whenever I was ‘up to my own antics’ as he called it, “yes, I find it weird, but I’m not_ against _it, Lovi. What brought this up, anyways?”_

_The sentence made me freeze. I couldn’t just tell Antonio, ‘oh! I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I had a terminal illness and could die any moment from being sick! But don’t worry, I’m being preserved, you’ll see me in the future, okay?’ …Nope, I wasn’t saying that. And certainly_ not _in such fucking cheery voice. Instead, I settled for something a bit more obvious: namely, an article on the laptop in front of me. “Er, I was reading this and it caught my attention.”_

_Antonio had leaned over once again to peer onto the screen holding an article made up of pure text with a tiny picture of a closed metal container surrounded by what seemed to be blue colored smoke unfurling on the sides. “Okay, then why are you reading it?”_

_“It just popped up on the news page,” I answered a bit too quickly. Note to self: delete all history of searching cryogenics. I don’t even want to imagine what Antonio would think if I was trying to milk out all the information on the procedure. “I found it… interesting, I guess?”_

_He hummed quietly in acknowledgment, still skimming down the article to get information. The article itself was quite lengthy, giving a short description on what it was, the definition of ‘cryonics’ and why the topic had caused in outrage in one of the bigger American cities in the west. Though it still wasn’t anything like the detailed reports sprinkled with humongous words that I read in a magazine that was completely dedicated to cryogenics and its effect on modern ethics and such… “People are still against even though it’s been in practice for over two decades?”_

_"That’s what it says…” I muttered, barely fighting off a yawn, pushed the white laptop closed and set it down on the coffee table. Antonio whined about not being finished, though I think that was enough on trying to get information while Antonio was still in the apartment. I doubt it could be called a smart move in the first place. In one movement, I turned sideways and laid down across his lap. “Don’t move, I want to take a nap.”_

_“Tired?” I grunted in response, feeling his hand card through my hair gently. Antonio chuckled silently, humming again as he started talking, “maybe we should take a day off? We could sleep in and not leave the bed until we get hungry and then have to rush around the kitchen to make a quick breakfast… then we could go back to lounging around, how does that sound?”_

_I thought about it. It sounded nice, especially since we had been working hard getting a deal to go through with a private stocks owner… there was only one meeting left with him from what I knew and it would take my mind off of this whole freezing procedure. Sighing out, I nodded slightly at the proposal, “Sounds nice… I think Nonno can give us Thursday off, it’s a dead day from what I know.”_

_“Then we’ll take Thursday off, laze around and go out for dinner so we don’t have to cook.” I made a noise of agreement, turning so I faced the couch and Antonio. It sounded like our usual lazy days at the university, except without Bella and the dread of not having finished homework… though the latter could be argued about. “And maybe we can stop by that bakery instead to have some breakfast there…”_

_"Tch, I’m not waking up early enough to make it to the cafe in time for breakfast.” I mumbled, already feeling lazier at the prospect of our plans. Antonio smiled, readjusting my head on his lap._

_"You really just want to sleep, don’t you, Lovi?”_

_I think I nodded briefly against the denim of his jeans before drifting off with a yawn. It felt reassuring that he didn’t question my topic change, or want to know more about why I was interested in the article so much… although Antonio knew I wouldn’t reveal much anyways._

**_~ooXoo~_ **

“So what do you say?” Antonio held out his hand to receive the warm, freshly printed papers rolling out from the black, three-in-one copy machine. Hoping the answer would be positive, he glanced at Feliciano who was leaning against the wall.

If the Italian agreed, that would be the first time they actually went somewhere together since he showed him around the city… and the first time they’d visit Lovino together as well. “When would we even go?” Feliciano questioned, a skeptical look across his face, “You’re busy this week, as usual, and I’m still busy working at that café since they want me to paint a mural for them.”

Antonio sighed, piling the documents together and skimming through the first sheet of figures. “I don’t know, I think I can take Tuesday off for a bit and go around midday. They let you take breaks, don’t they?”

“They do, si… but why do you want me to go with you again? I’m still confused.” Antonio smiled at him, walking away from the machine and paper clipping the report together. The answer was simple really, he didn’t feel like going alone anymore and Feliciano was the closest to him at that point, being Lovino’s little brother and all. It made sense for everyone Lovino considered family to visit him together. That was… if you forgot that Lovino probably had no idea who Feliciano even was. “I thought that maybe you’d like to see him while I’m there as well… Bella told me that you seemed awkward when I dropped you off last time.”

Feliciano’s mouth made an ‘o’ shape in realization before quickly agreeing to accompany him. Antonio exhaled in relief. It seemed like he wouldn’t agree there for a moment, he could literally feel a weight lifting off his chest. Maybe not just hearing his own voice echoing off of the metal doors and walls would more easily settle itself down from seeing Lovino so still. Every time he went, he still freaked out, at least mentally, before his mind could register that he was already aware of that one fact. “I guess that makes sense… Tuesday?”

Antonio nodded, starting to lead Feliciano back into his office. “Hopefully we’ll be able to catch Bella and we can get more time inside.” Not that they didn't already tack on more time just for Antonio, Bella would possibly have an update of some type to give him... though it seemed that nothing was changing. From what he knew, they were no closer to a cure and getting Lovino reanimated than before. Antonio glanced back at the younger man, did he think that his brother would be able to come back? It was possible that he was just as religious as his brother, Feliciano _had_ grown up in Italy with his parents... but so far, he had stated no opinions on the matter, just a hopeful expression while he was rifling through pictures.

When they returned to the office, Feliciano immediately plopped down onto the couch and began flipping through a magazine on the table. Antonio paid no attention; he was focused on the list of figures before him trying to catch differences between his current data and the set from a few days ago. And so far, it seemed almost identical. Maybe it wasn’t as simple as someone inside the company changing the documentation, it could easily have been someone on the outside hacking into the company’s information base and changing things around including the direction the money was going. From memory, it had happened once to Romulus, though it had quickly been dealt with. It had transpired so quickly, it seemed to him that it had never actually taken place to begin with. Lovino had just written it off as one of the many talents his grandfather had. That and the fact that Romulus had almost total control over every aspect of the business, something that he had yet to figure to out and was overwhelmed with, a.k.a., reason number one that he needed Lovino back.

Okay, maybe reason two...

“Hey... isn't this the owner of that one famous bank chain?” Snapping his attention to Feliciano at the sound of his voice, Antonio carelessly let the papers flutter onto his desk and made his way over to peek over the younger’s shoulder. Sure enough, a picture of the two Braginski siblings stared at him from the glossy page. A non-committal sound emitted from his throat, reading the title and italicized caption beneath it.

“‘ _Braginski Banking growing faster than ever before, owner Mr. Ivan Braginski talking about and planning to buy more small businesses and aspiring local banks in...’”_ Antonio’s mouth ran dry. Going public with their plans meant that the Braginski’s were serious about buying off the company... and that placed even more pressure on him to take a course of action.

He gritted his teeth, glancing towards his stack of data on the desk. They couldn’t be the ones stealing the money, could they? It almost seemed like a soap opera plot: the opposing company places fake accounts to gain money while the protagonist’s company loses and falls bankrupt to the point of foreclosure or needing another company to take over. Then right before that happens, someone shows up fixing everything... someone close to the protagonist... and special...

“Antonio?” He hummed in response, wondering what Feliciano could want this time.  “You suddenly went quiet, is something wrong?”

He sighed out loudly, “is it that noticeable?” Forcing a laugh, he rubbed at the nape of his neck. “It’s nothing new. Just old, old news.” He hoped that would deter Feliciano’s attention away from his emotions. Over the past few months, Antonio had noticed that the younger Vargas was easily distracted... except when he was determined to figure something out, which had happened once when he tried to pry information on how he had met Lovino from him. And succeeded. “Old news that needs a solution.... and soon.”

Feliciano just frowned lightly at him. It was almost like he knew that there was nothing he could really do to help Antonio this time. Nothing besides a small constant and physical reminder that Lovino once took his own share of breath.

**_~ooXoo~_ **

_From: Arabella_

_Everything is a go!_  
 _I’ll b waiting right at_  
 _7, so b ready to b let  
_ _in and begin. Thnks! :)_

_Received at 4:10PM_


	9. 8.Feeble Fire

_Tuesday in the Morning..._

All silence was shattered as quick footsteps clattered across the floor, blunt heels making a screeching sound as they came to a hasty stop. A set of wheels followed the second set of feet and was followed by a third set. A password was rapidly punched into a keypad, the electronic tones of each key sounding out harshly in the silence and making heavy chrome doors slide open. All three stayed still for a moment, staring at the unfamiliar body inside, the body’s information flickering across the banner at the top. _‘Status: stable, no treatments available, disease still unknown, research still in progress... HR-1861...’_

That would all change soon. At least, behind screen doors it would.

Being the first to snap out her concentration, Bella whispered out a quick command, her two assistants carrying them out quickly. The metallic stretcher they held onto was opened to reveal a capsule lined with frozen nitrogen that was quickly subliming back into its cool, gaseous form. After watching them for a moment, she tapped out another code, this one to unlock the back of the container. “Hurry, we need to be out of here in less than ten minutes. There’s a new person due to be given the tour here.”

A short blonde male moved towards the other side of the container, motioning for the other to help him. Together, they finished opening the container to take out the patient’s form. Moving as quickly as they could, they carried him back to the stretcher and gently placed his cold form onto the icy bed. Bella nodded, eyes widening and smile appearing in excitement. Finally, the real process could begin. She gave the men instructions to deliver their special cargo to the locked operation room, giving them the key and a warning about who was where, should they encounter any problems. But if she had planned correctly (and she hoped she had), they wouldn't come in contact with anyone during the transport.

In a second, the capsule was closed and pushed towards its new destination, leaving Bella to close both open doors and change the codes. Once finished she tested the old code and was satisfied with neither side opening, she scurried out of the containment room, checking both sides of the outside hallway before leisurely walking out with both hands clutched to the edge of her lab coat. She was excited that they were finally going to go through with Lovino's reanimation. Though it was nerve wracking as well. Anything could go wrong, from news leakage to the procedure... Lovino hadn't been an 'ideal' case; there could have been damage during the initial process, the transportation... and if he didn't die during the operation, he easily could during re-cooperation stage.

She didn't want to think about what would happen if his body rejected the blood or was ultimately unresponsive. Everything had to be so precise... _'How are we even going to place him in recovery without anyone finding out? It isn't like we can just abandon our jobs here to look over him..._ ' Maybe she hadn't thought everything through completely to the point that she was sick of it. Bella still had time though, she could find a place for Lovino to recover in quickly; the clinic had plenty of unoccupied room that no one touched. If that failed, she'd smuggle out equipment and care for Lovino in her own home as a last resort. She wouldn't let one thing turn all her work into ruins.

Bella glanced back out of reflex, checking to make sure no one had seen her. If all went well, no one would even know that Lovino wasn't in his container until she told Antonio about the surprise. She knew he would be excited; it was only natural to want to see someone or hold them tight after they haven't been able to for years, wasn't it?

“Phase one complete,” she told herself, “We’ll be going ahead with the devitrification just as we planned...” As she reached the lobby, Bella sighed out in relief quietly. It was unusually lonely, but that was a good thing at that point. She looked up at nothing in particular, sending up a silent prayer to whoever was listening, "Please let Lovino live though this, let him be strong enough to fight if something goes wrong..."

Her phone chimed out, the little screen lighting up from within her coat's pocket. Pulling it out and unlocking the screen, she viewed the short text message. They had arrived without problems.

**_~ooXoo~_ **

_"Isn't_ _there anything I could use to contact the clinic that’s not someone else calling?”_

_“No. I know it doesn’t do anything to help with our ‘legally dead’ limit, but there’s nothing we can do about that, Lovino.” I scowled. That meant whoever I was with would have to call the instant they noticed something was wrong. And if I was with Antonio... the instant I was dead... or even minutes after if he panicked in that moment. Which was plausible... who wouldn’t be freaking out if the closest person to them was dying when they thought they were healthy?_

_That was one surprise I had hoped wouldn’t happen. But life decided no, let’s make their lives seem like something out of a creation of fiction! I mean, how many shows have you seen where the main lead has someone die in their arms or dies themselves in someone else’s arms? Bit cliché, don’t you think? How about keeping your disease a secret? I don’t know how many times I’ve seen that one... though, having done it myself... I can see why some choose to do so. I wouldn’t want to be smothered and pitied; Antonio would go overboard with everything. As if he didn’t do so already sometimes._

_“We’ll just make sure to monitor your condition carefully.” I looked up from my thoughts to frown at my grandfather. He wasn’t going to be around me twenty-four seven and I wasn’t going to fucking move back in with him. Hell would freeze over if I decided that Antonio and me would move in with him._

_I gave a short, crude laugh. “And what? Do you expect me to just control this stupid illness while not around someone who knows about it? If I could do that, I would have already gotten fucking rid of it. Moving back in would give Antonio a reason to be suspicious in the first place!” I shifted in my seat, deciding to lean against the wall for support. "That's not going to happen. Ever."_

_"Lovino, that's not what we were aiming to say... what I meant was..." Bella looked off thoughtfully at the door. As if that boring piece of wood would hold some answers. The only answer I knew would work would be finding some type of cure or treatment... but they weren't anywhere close to making a discovery._

_"This is all for the better, don't you want to be healthy and not have to worry about death and all that?" Nonno spoke up, making me want to hide. That wasn't what I wanted to hear. It just made feel guilty and want to just give in and accept, not that I would._

_"I'm not that little brat I was anymore, dammit! I understand that; what I don't want is more people than necessary finding out about this stupid, shitty, illness."_

_"I never said you were a brat," I tried to interject, but Nonno managed to silence me with a strict face, "If you're not going to let anyone 'monitor' you, or tell Antonio something this important, then at least be careful." I blinked in surprise at his response. Usually he was a lot more firm on his decisions. "I know you aren't going to change your mind on this topic."_

_I nodded, gulping quietly. I knew it still meant Nonno would keep a close eye on me when he could. But it wasn't like I wasn't careful to begin with, the last time I had been gravely ill was while I still attended university._

_I hated it, though I think anyone who knew could see so. Of course, I never completely warmed up to the idea. Especially when the exact thing I didn't want, and was scared would happen, did. The last thing I wanted was a panicked, frenzied Antonio yelling at the world to help him get to a hospital, or go into denial trying to wake me up..._

_There's only so much one person can take. I know if our roles had been switched, I would have gone crazy early on. Crazy enough that I wouldn't be considered stable enough to keep living among society. I can only hope that that wasn't Antonio's case and he was able to live the normal live that I knew wouldn't have been possible with me at his side. No matter how much it was requited love on both sides, Antonio had been thrown into this mess because of me and that fucking disease. Maybe he's been able to move on. Maybe he's already forgotten me... and if I ever wake up, I'll find half of our stuff gone from the apartment and all the pictures still in their albums tucked among the shelves in the living room..._

_I really hope that's not what happened. I think I'd rather be completely dead than live to see that... not when we had already been through so much._

**_~ooXoo~_ **

_Tuesday, midday-_

Antonio stopped and turned on the heel of his shoe. He seemed to pout at Feliciano and motioned for the Italian to catch up quickly. Which, at that moment in time was almost impossible since he wasn't used to the dry, cold weather like Antonio was. Realizing that, he waited for Feliciano to catch up. He tried not to smile as he watch the other walk up to him shivering in the coat he was wearing which, in all reality, was just a smidge too big having been one of Lovino's older possessions (and had actually been one of Antonio's older coats, specifically, the one that Lovino had never given back after borrowing it).

"Is it always this cold?" Feliciano chattered out, hugging himself for warmth. Antonio let out a puff of air, letting it trail away before nodding briefly.

He himself felt no difference, though the weather was usual to the time of year. "Yes, but we're almost to the clinic. It's warmer in Italy during the fall, isn't it?" Feliciano nodded, walking faster with is hands shoved into the coat as far they went. Antonio laughed briefly, now having to be the one to catch up with the other. The actual clinic was at the end of the block, next to the coffee house that stood on the corner. The street was always filled with people bustling about, what with the nearby shops and its downtown placement. The one place that was regularly somewhat empty was the cryogenic clinic.

It was almost memorizing to watch people flutter about everywhere except that one building... as if they were still scared of the concept of freezing humans... "Antonio! Come on, it was your idea!" Smiling up at the Italian, he called back an agreement, telling him to wait outside the doors until he caught up, which didn't take long.

 Once they were together again, both entered looking for Bella in the lobby, but didn't see her in her place behind the desk. _She must be relaying information among the doctors..._ Antonio thought. It was the only logical explanation as to why she wasn't in her workstation. He shot a glance at Feliciano before walking up to a women who was filing papers. "Excuse me?" The worker looked up, putting on a welcoming smile. "We're here to visit someone."

"Oh, of course!" She quickly turned to the computer, making it spring into life with a swipe of her hand, "name of the patient?"

"Vargas, Lovino."

The nurse, he assumed she was a nurse, hummed out a thanks. She was, no doubt, searching through the computer's database to note of the new visit. "I have it, you two can go in once you verify that you're authorized. But I think everyone here knows you by now, Antonio." Antonio blushed a light shade, trying to force a smile that didn't look nervous.

"Heh, I don't stop by that often..." He shook his head, shooting a questioning glance at Feliciano. "Can you stay here and wait for Bella while I go ahead?" The Italian nodded, smiling at the girl that was asking him for his name. It shouldn't take too long for Bella to return to the lobby and meet up with Feliciano, he'd probably only get to the front of the container before they caught up. Though it was weird that the Belgian hadn't been in her usual spot, or greeted them at all.

Pushing the thought away, Antonio turned down the hallway that led to the containment room, walking quickly to get there in as little time as possible. Behind him, he couldn't hear footsteps that sounded like they were getting closer to him...but he was practically almost _sprinting_ down the hallway. He paused for a moment in front of the doors, unsure about going in alone yet again before making a snap decision and going in. Antonio quietly made his way around the room, eyes glancing from container to container to read the names on each one, though he could never forget the where Lovino's stood. Second to last on the right side of the room with a silver chrome sliding door instead of the cobalt blue chrome that some of the other containers had. He remembered asking why that was. Apparently the silver chrome doors were part of the newer models that the clinic had bought.

Glancing back he wondered how much longer it would be, not that he had to wait for Bella to open up the doors, he knew the code himself. And a few minutes to himself with Lovino wouldn't be that bad... Taking a deep breath, Antonio reached out to tap out the four numbers on the square touchscreen pad, '0317'. A loud beep resounded through the room, in turn making the Spaniard frown in confusion. They hadn't changed it, had they? Bella would have notified him...

Or, it could have been a malfunction. Maybe trying again would unlock it this time. A repeat of the first time happened, managing to frazzle his nerves with the electronic noises that _weren't supposed to be happening._

Now in a panic, he forcefully tapped out a different, back-up code that was only used in case of the system rejecting the first one. He was starting to get a bad feeling, a cold sensation filling up his stomach and making its way throughout his insides. That couldn't be happening, there wasn't anything wrong. Nothing at all. At worst, it might have just himself pressing the wrong number, right? But now he starting to believe that his thoughts were only a way to reassure himself...

An unlocking sound reached him. Relieved, he sighed out and closed his eyes, waiting for everything to go silent again. When it did, he didn't feel the sensation leave him. Instead, it seemed to become stronger, setting off the warning bells in his head. Slowly, he pried his eyes open, dread filling him instantly. He tried to force back his shocked scream, failing when a small whimper still made its way out. Hands shaky, he attempted to hold himself upright against the container's glass wall. "L-Lovino..." It came out as a whisper, barely audible, even to himself.

At some point, he registered slow footfalls finally making their way into the room. But acknowledging them, was beyond him. His heartbeat was almost drowning them out anyways.

"Antonio, Bella never-" Feliciano's voice echoed off the wall after his voice died out. "Is something wrong?"

Antonio gave an awkward, slow nod of the head and moved away from the container and into the Italian's worried line of sight. "Lovino. He's..." he swallowed painfully, forcing out the next words and hoping that Feliciano was able to hear him, "he's not in the capsule."


	10. 9. Feeble Fire

_Tuesday, later in afternoon..._

Neither Antonio, nor Feliciano, had found Bella. And it was only making Antonio panic more than when he'd met up with Feliciano again. It wasn't doing any good, it almost seemed like the whole world was against him, bent on piling on every single problem on his shoulders to see if he would crack easily. A cruel game whose sole purpose was to take him to his limits as much as humanly possible.

The last thing he needed was someone telling him that there was no more reason to keep Lovino frozen and nothing could be done to make him return to the world of the living. That would be like icing on the cake, if said pastry was made out of black despair and sweetened with gray sorrow... not like such a thing existed.

He let out a loud sigh, hand going to his hair as usual when he was frustrated. The only thing he could do was look for Bella, not that it was possible. They had asked everyone they'd encountered as well, all them replying with a 'They might be cleaning the containment unit and have him somewhere else'.

"Antonio?" He nodded slightly at the sound of his name, urging the other to continue, "maybe we should leave and just come back later. Bella might have not come to work today? That sounds logical, doesn't it?" Feliciano tried, hoping to at least placate Antonio to some level of calmness. "Plus, what if they're just changing, or cleaning, the container? Hasn't that happened before?" Antonio nodded again, sitting up straight in his seat only to slump back down in the same movement, a worried look on his face. Feliciano was really trying hard, Antonio could tell, but it wasn't enough to deter him from his mind's path of thought.

"They would've told me if that was going to happen! They tell me everything that goes on with Lovino, whether it's an update on research, or-or something as simple as cleaning that  _goddamn refrigerator,"_  he bit the inside of his cheek, making himself shut up. Four years shouldn't seem like a lifetime, four years shouldn't make pain feel like it had _only_ happened it the day before. It shouldn't affect him as much as it did the day after Lovino's death. Maybe he had placed all of his hopes on being able to see him again, the false illusion of cryogenics giving you back your loved ones free of diseases having devoured him completely. "And Bella worked today... I'm sure of it..." he added in a murmur, "someone said they saw her earlier as well..."

"Still, we should probably come back later... have a late lunch, maybe a nap, too. We can't find her and it's been," Feliciano checked his phone, the screen lighting up the front of his shirt, "almost two hours since we got here. Let's go." Antonio thought he could hear a whining tone somewhere in Feliciano's suggestion. Blinking, he stood up, joining the Italian in walking away from the soft seats of the waiting room and past the rounded desk to make their way through the door.

"But I need to find out what happened. Lovino is important, I need to know if they really can't... do anything... to get him back." His voice petered off, ending in a soft and sad whisper. How long did they say it could take when they were explaining it to him? A few years. Fifty, at the most. Fifty. He'd look ready to be visiting his grandchildren (if he ever had any), and Lovino would still look twenty-three... Antonio couldn't wait that long for Lovino to be able to walk among them once more.

He met Feliciano's light brown eyes, flinching away slightly at the emotion held within them. "I want to meet my brother, the one I've never met before and can only remember briefly... but if they took him out because they could do nothing, then I guess that's it. No reason to keep waiting for something that won't be back, is there?" Antonio couldn't really believe that Feliciano was actually saying that. He sucked in a breath, waiting for Feliciano to finish. Feliciano didn't really think like that. Lovino wouldn't be back, did he? "If he died, he should-should stay that way. Coming back is unnatural... I know you think differently, but that's my opinion..."

Antonio forced a smile, trying to keep up a cheery disposition. He had thought that his smiles from before felt like they were manufactured solely for display, this one felt one thousand times more faked. "Lovino will come back, I know it, it's just going to take some time... They're cleaning the container. That's it, they're just cleaning it." He was sure he was trying to reassure himself more than Feliciano, he had to calm down, even if it was just enough to breathe correctly again. "They forgot to tell me. I mean, I didn't call ahead like I usually do..."

Feliciano shook his head, stopping in front of the doors and making Antonio almost run into him. "Should we head into the cafe?" Grateful for the change in conversion, although it didn't stop his thoughts, Antonio nodded. The small cafe was right next door to the clinic, and he could go for a hot cup of coffee, maybe it'd relax him and at least halt his thoughts for a bit. Feliciano offered a small smile at the response, leading the way towards the small shop.

He could only frown back, Feliciano's words repeating themselves in his mind, pondering if that could happen. It had happened before. Once before, but it was the same thing. It was almost as if he couldn't live without that little spark of hope of that Lovino had a chance, imaging that piece of hope vanishing was hard. He'd known Lovino for almost five, six years. More if he counted the four years of Lovino being frozen. It didn't seem like long, but it did to him. Almost a decade, and Lovino had been a constant throughout them. In person or in thought, it didn't matter. Everywhere he went, random memories would pop up in his thoughts; Lovino smiling, an excited gift exchange, a funny moment that happened, little things like just walking down the street in silence, they all surrounded his everyday life. It just wasn't easy to forget something like that. What if he did and Lovino returned later? Then what?

Wrapped up completely in his thoughts, Antonio bumped into Feliciano who had stopped in front of the counter of the cafe without noticing. He blinked in confusion. When had they entered? And why hadn't Feliciano mentioned anything about it? He watched the Italian order and quickly added in his own before rushing to pay and pick up their cups of freshly brewed coffee. Waiting for Feliciano to dilute his coffee with milk, he scoped out an open table, motioning for the younger man to join him.

"I've been wondering," Feliciano started, sitting down across from him, "why haven't you... er, moved on?" Antonio sipped at his coffee, watching Feliciano fidget with the wording of the question, "Don't you... Wouldn't you rather have someone besides you than wait for Lovino?"

Antonio shrugged. He glanced around, a slight heartbroken expression on his face, trying to stall an answer for as long as he could. The pause didn't last long, though. There were more reasons than that, of course there were. There were so many other reasons that he could've said, the simplest being that he still loved Lovino. He took a cautious sip of the coffee, blowing at it to help the cooling down process. "I just don't want to."

_**~ooXoo~** _

_Have you ever thought so often about something that your thoughts keep repeating themselves in different ways? Tautology. I think that's the word for it. Rewording your phrase so it doesn't seem the same. At least, that's what I think it is. Changing your sentence by rearranging the words, but keeping the meaning._

_Even though I have no idea what time, or day, it is, it feels like that's all I've been doing with my thoughts, rearranging them, yet keeping the meaning the same. It's almost like I'm a master at tautology now, how many different ways have I thought the same thing? Living, dying, stuck in this nothingness, I've gone over it repeatedly. Not like I can do anything else. I've said that, haven't I? With so much repetitiveness, I'm not so surprised if I had._

_Trite, isn't it? The only place to escape to is my own mind, but that's what I'm trying to escape. It sounds boring, which it is. There's a reason people go crazy if they lose a sense, whether it be sight, smell, touch, taste, or hearing..._

_But, there are people who do well without that sense, like in extended periods of silence. They say it lets you free up your mind and forget your worries... I can't say that I don't agree. But there's only so much silence a person, that_  I _, can stand. I can't believe it, but I miss the sound of jammed traffic, people chattering incessantly on the sidewalks, and the annoying sound of a cellphone going off at the wrong moment. Those are things I remember being able to live without, annoyances of living in a crowded city, especially when the apartment you live in is near downtown in the business district. At least having the apartment on one of the highest floors muffled the noise to an extent, more so whenever Antonio decided to play his endless library of music throughout the apartment._

_Silence was just something we never had unless it was nighttime and we were both tucked in bed, just about to fall asleep. Other than that, forget it, noise was the master... whereas here, I'm surrounded by deafening silence. I can't even hear myself think, but I know I am. I'm not even going to try to make sense of that senseless statement._

_...do my thoughts even make sense to myself anymore? Do I make sense to myself with my thoughts?_

_**~ooXoo~** _

_Tuesday, 7:32 PM..._

Bella smiled as she took careful documentation of the reporting data from the computers. No unpredicted reactions, everything was going smoothly. Temperature was already rising steadily, but not quickly enough to ruin any organs. Taking a glance towards the indented table, she could barely see Lovino's actual body behind the flurry of doctors currently rushing around and doing different things. Everyone was critical to the operation, taking care of certain areas. "Condition still normal on screen. Time is nineteen thirty-three with temperature still in the negatives."

She moved quickly from one side of the table to the other, taking care of not getting into people's way as she did so, to make sure that everything was ready and in place. Sofia was already getting one of the defibrillators ready to jump-start his heart once the body reached an appropriate temperature. She hoped nothing went wrong further along with the process. If Lovino had not been treated within the normal time period to be frozen... a few complications could arise without notice.

Shaking her head to get rid of the thought, Bella scribbled down a few notes, blinking when she heard her name being called. "What?"

Sofia, the one who had called her most probably, was smiling nervously. "I was asking for the statistics on time left?" Bella nodded, moving back towards the small screen she was supposed to be watching constantly for changes. Reading down the lines of data scrolling past, she paused at the actual time being calculated for their current rate of increase.

"It's a bit early to say, don't you think?" Both women looked towards the new voice talking, none of it fazing the blonde haired man. "We barely began half an hour ago, and anyways, we'll take as long as necessary, won't we?"

"Right," Bella answered, "there's more important things than how long we'll take."

The blonde nodded, stealing a glance at Sofia before returning to his work of monitoring the amount of nitrogenous gas being used as Lovino's body temperature rose. Sofia seemed slightly shocked, freezing before getting a worried look. It almost seemed like she wasn't comfortable with the glance she was shot. "Sorry, I was just curious..."

Who wouldn't be curious, Bella thought, wasn't it just normal human nature to do so? She glanced back at the screen, _negative one hundred eighty degrees_. At this rate, it'd take more than five hours, time they didn't have and couldn't afford to lose with. Yet, they were working with the recommended time for a patient... maybe she could experiment just a bit more than she already was.

_**~ooXoo~** _

"She's still not picking up!" Frustrated, Antonio gripped the phone in his hand tightly, enough to crack its protective case off before chucking it against the opposite wall and watching it pop open in pieces. He heard a faint thud from somewhere within the apartment, followed by the rapidly approaching fall of feet, most probably trying to reach him. He turned around, seeing Feliciano watching him with a concerned expression which only made him sigh out loudly and fall back onto the sofa. "It's like she just went missing all of a sudden!"

Flopping his arm over his face to cover his eyes, Antonio willed himself to stay calm, barely hearing Feliciano come closer to the couch. "Maybe you should get some sleep. We can go back tomorrow to figure out what happened. It might help you relax and think straight?" He felt a dip in the seat, but still didn't move to show the Italian he was listening.

"I need to know what happened,  _today._  It's going to kill me if I don't, this is the first time in four years that I don't know what's happening," the Spaniard paused, taking a moment to clear his throat. "If you were in my place, you'd be the same way."

The silence that came after that wasn't comfortable, but it wasn't uncomfortable. Antonio took the chance to remove his arm and look at Feliciano. His words couldn't cause a big reaction could they? Someone one going through his very life would most probably take the same course of reaction... stressed and ready to break whatever was in his hand. Which, thinking back, throwing his phone was not a good idea. Now he had to call in and ask to be sent another one. Did he even have time for that at the moment?

"Maybe not."

"What?"

"I said, maybe I wouldn't even be in your situation. I don't think I'd let that clinic do that to the person I loved..." Antonio stared at him, was he deliberately saying that Lovino shouldn't have been preserved? He knew that Feliciano didn't like the idea of cryonics... but so far as saying that? Feliciano had been the one that had been waiting to meet his brother his whole life. "I'd rather know that they're in better place than stuck in that...  _thing,_  but that's not what I was talking about."

"Feli-" He was cut off, the expression on Feliciano's face shocking him enough to have remind himself that it wasn't Lovino in front of him, although it didn't look as strict as Lovino's had. Either way, it further proved that they were brothers.

"Please go sleep? Worrying won't do you any good..." Frowning, Antonio sighed out and stood up lazily, giving in without a word to the request. He glanced up to wall near the bookcase, looking over the solo picture of Lovino smiling and blushing that was next to the 'couples' shot taken at the same session. The frozen moment of time didn't even compare to what the actual smile looked like...

"Fine. But if Bella calls, I want to hear what she has to say." Feliciano nodded, standing from his own seat and moving towards the mess from the cellphone. "And," he turned back, meeting eyes with the brunette, "I had no idea they would be freezing him. I only found out when Romulus told me." His voice ended on a tired note, leaving Feliciano to make out his own conclusion to the last bit of information.

_**~ooXoo~** _

_...Is it possible to finally feel even a little peaceful? It's almost like I've come to terms with this nothingness, yet I know I don't want to be here. Is putting a few things, like maybe life and death, in black and white that hard?_

_If I don't go back, then let me have a peaceful death. And if I don't die, then let me return and be with Antonio again. Let me follow Nonno's footsteps with him watching, maybe even plan a getaway vacation for the three of us to Italy. That's something to look forward to..._

_What is that noise? An annoying little sound that just won't fucking st-_

_Wait, I can... I can hear something? A heartbeat maybe? A really slow one at that... How can I hear that? I can't hear anything here! People are usually startled when noise turns into silence. So if silence turns into noise, the same would happen, right? Isn't that how the converse of a statement works? But I'm not startled... more like... confused. How the hell am I hearing this? Maybe it's my imagination, maybe it's just an illusion... but even my memories haven't felt, or sounded, like that._

_Felt. When was the last time my senses actually worked? Am I really getting excited over this? I shouldn't be getting my hopes up. Maybe it's just a way to tell me that my time in the nothing has ended and I'm finally dying completely._

_Even so... what if? What if I had the chance to see Antonio one more time? I can hear the heartbeat speed up a bit, was it reacting to my thoughts?_

_I don't think I care anymore. I just want to see Antonio. One. More. Time._

**Author's Note:**

> Translations: caramelo- sweetheart (Spanish, literally means 'caramel candy')
> 
> A/N: Once again, a transfer from my FF.net account! The up-to-date work can be read over there, link is on my profile. (^^) I don't own Hetalia, nor the characters. Thanks for reading!


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